Very Emotional & Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Very Emotional & Confused
1
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 4:09pm
I have been with my husband for 4 years and married for 4 of those months. He proposed 2 years ago. The entire engagement I never made an attempt to plan the wedding and could not commit to a date. To me this screams that I wasn't ready, and I can admit that I was wrong to go through with the wedding.

There was a lot of pressure from his family to follow through and the wedding ended up being planned in less than a month. In my opinion it was fast enough for me to not have to think about it.

I do love my husband, but feel that I was more in love with his family and the idea of being married. Now I can not bring myself to even change my name to his. Let alone change all of my accounts and SSI#. We do not have regular intercourse and really have not for about two years.

There is a man that is a mutual friend of ours that has never been married. I approached him about his feelings for me and he admitted them. I asked him what he wants from me and he told me he wants to take me away from here. I have had very strong feelings for him for about 7 months but never dealt with them until now.

I spoke with my husband about our marriage and he has not once "cried" out I love you don't leave me. He even admitted that he spoke with a friend of his a few months ago and said that he didn't think we would stay married for long. I wish I had not married him and had been strong enough to admit that we should never have gone through with it.

I am sick over this because I just want to be happy. The man I have feelings for is not pressuring me I feel like I'm pressuring him. But I did not want to go through the rest of my life wondering. I'm only here once and nobody will live my life but me.

Any thoughts or questions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 7:07pm
Hi Twirpy

I think it is clear to you and your husband that the marriage was the wrong decision for both of you.

You have not been married long if possable try to have it annuled if you can't do that file for a legal seperation ,it sounds like your husband is not likely to have a big problem with that.

I suggest that you do not start a real relationship with the friend tell you can do it out in the open and avoid any uglyness with your husband.

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