The W
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| Sun, 12-14-2008 - 10:39am |
Okay..Here are some thoughts..If you had your choice would you rather be you or be her? He says he loves her. He's closest to her..yet here he is cheating on her. I'm going to be honest here in saying this and a part of me feels bad for even saying it. I saw his wife for the first time and I was shocked that she wasn't more beautiful. I was expecting her to be gorgeous because he is. And she's not at all. Just very simple and plain looking. I felt weird that I even thought that..but truly I was expecting some great beauty. I know love is not about looks. But has anyone thought that about their AP's wife? Do some of you think what is it he gets in me that he isn't getting from her? What is he attracted to?
It was so difficult for me to watch her because I felt like such a jerk..knowing what I know. I'm going to walk away again..but I can't go back on EAS until I've been in NC for a long time..it feels unfair to the women trying to support me. I feel like a misfit..lost and in limbo. Choose life or death..cuz purgatory is no fun! Someone said that to me once.

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when he and i don't talk, i'm with my girls hanging out or spending time with my nephews, shopping, or getting my nails done...but we don't do NC for more than 5 or 6 hours...it's hard for the both of us...we did it one time and it killed the both of us...not addicted..it's our emotions...i say that to say..all of these "a's" are different..noone can judge mine or anyone else's on this board..by who they've been hurt by or what they've gone through..they all do not end up the same..nor do they all exist the same....each one is unique by it's own definition..i don't think anyone is too blind, or too far in to see anything...i just think people choose how they want to live and later in life if they have to suffer consequences or reap rewards from whatever or by whatever, then they do......it is what it is.....it probably makes it all better when your ap is just as "addicted" as they call it..as you are "addicted" (like i said as they call it)...i try to look at the brighter side of things and take the good with the bad....
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
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