Want to Hear From "Older" Women in A's

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Want to Hear From "Older" Women in A's
6
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 11:47am

I would be interested in hearing from other women that are older, perhaps mid 40's and up, that are married and involved in relationships with other married men, that are also older.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010

I'm not quite where your age cut-off is, but close.


Once children are involved, it's DIFFICULT...no matter the age. There's a whole set of issues that comes with each "stage", whether we're talking

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
I'm in my early 40's dh is going to be 50 in June. We sleep in separated rooms and our love has been gone for years. We still have one teenage daughter and in three years she be off to college. The reason why we still live together is because of our financial reasons.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2007

I am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010

A lot of what Sue said resonates with me!

People with small children think that once the children are grown they would be freer to leave the marriage, but there's so much more to consider than small children in the home. By the time children are grown, you've spent many years with your spouse, and unless it's a truly bad marriage, there is love and affection there. Also, there is growing "wealth" between you - 401Ks, retirement funds, property, etc. The family is also changing, children getting married, grandchildren coming etc. Sharing the "fruits of your life" together is a powerful incentive to stay. There are shared friends that you've had since your youth, and at a later stage of your marriage you truly consider your in-laws "family" - all things you could lose in a separation.

I'm in my 50's and my OM is a little younger - 4 years. My H is a year older and we met in high school.

Honestly, I think it would be easier to leave when you're younger, even with small children. Younger children adapt well, it's the grown ones who can develop a grudge to hold against you. People staying "for the children" should really think about what it would mean to stay until they're grown, and what will get in their way at that point.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2008
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 10:04am

This is a really great topic, mogulbunny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 10:01pm

Geez, I'm having to do math here.


We were 37/41 when this began six years ago.