Wanting to call

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Wanting to call
12
Wed, 08-08-2012 - 1:46pm

I want to call him so bad but I have no reason really to call.  :-(  So you ladies get to hear me instead...LOL   I know W is home today because she has some virus.  Usually Thursday's are our meet up times because she doesn't come home until late late late, H is gone and there is minimum kids around.  I've gotten it scheduled where I won't have any kids tomorrow.  He did say he had tickets to an event but didn't want to go and not sure if he was going to.  So now I'm wondering if we are even going to be able to see each other tomorrow night.  This weekend is going to be a NO GO because best friends are going to be around all weekend (again)!!!! 

 I didn't see him last night as usual because I was late getting home and I think he'd gone to bed already.  Tonight is "church" night so that's not going to happen either. 

Something he said the other day after our visit kinda troubled me.  We were talking about the neighbors that are really nosy and he asked me what was up with them and I replied that I didn't know it was none of my business.  That way I'm not involved.  He said well maybe I should be like our other neighbor (speaking of my bff that never talks to anyone and  rarely comes out of the house) and he could go inside shut himself in and stay out of trouble.  Well  naturally I took it as me being the "trouble" and maybe he wants to end it...   But I didn't ask and let it go.  I think that is what a lot of us do is over anaylze things that our AP says.

Okay thanks girls my urge to call is gone!!  LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 4:09pm
Ah the crazy urge to call. Resist! I know this is probably not meant for our situations but In Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov says if you don't come across as needy he'll be the one clamouring for your attention. I've tried it a couple of times like for example when he cancels a date on me for no 'good' reason. And the next time he asks me out I say I have plans or something. Independence -fake it till you make it :smileyhappy:
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 4:51pm
I'll have to get that book, I've never heard of it.
I gave into the urge and called this morning after texting a few times about something I needed to borrow. After he didn't text me back I called, he didn't answer and I called a couple hours later and he did. He was nice, not distant etc. I feel like I'm always in a catch 22. I want to take things into my own hands so if I feel like calling I'll call, than I feel like if I don't call I'm playing games and I hate playing games. I'm a very straightforward type of person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 5:48pm
I used to not like playing games too. But sometimes i think men are rather dense. You know they love being the one doing the chasing. Get the book it's pretty humorous...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2011
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 7:00pm
I've not read the why men marry bitches book, but that author also has "why men love bitches", and it really is a good read. I recommend it! It sounds awful but it's actually a really realistic and uplifting book.

Also SBTH, I think you need to look at the situation not as playing games, but just as backing off a little, doing your own thing, and letting him come to you. Ferdifendi is spot on, most men love chasing women. Most men want a woman who doesn't appear overly attached and needy. It's too much sometimes. Call or text once (twice at most) and if he doesnt respond say "eff 'um" and do your own thing. Even if its killing you sometimes. He's gonna be back. I've had guys who were into me call or text me too much without me responding in turn. It definitely did not make me more interested.

Check out the book, you'll love it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Fri, 08-10-2012 - 11:52am
Yes I agree ladies. When you hold out it tends to make them want you more. I say it's a game but really it wouldn't be if AP(S) would just step up to the plate. Alas, most of them do not so we are stuck in that bind. I am backing off etc. I had to call him today because hubby took my phone (nothing is on there for him to see) and I let AP know that I didn't have it. But that was it and I didn't stick around to talk to him like he wanted to.