Was I / Am I Just Stupid

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Was I / Am I Just Stupid
3
Mon, 09-07-2009 - 1:00pm

I met a M man about 8 months ago - it was an arrangement that we agreed upon that we would be what our spouses couldn't be for us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2008
Mon, 09-07-2009 - 2:41pm

hi joei;


how long has it been since you've last communicated with him?


" Some would say that i fell from grace;but in reality i leaped! "
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Mon, 09-07-2009 - 6:00pm
Well - only since Friday - he e-mails me every morning when he gets to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Mon, 09-07-2009 - 9:37pm

Joel, i think that you have to give him the benefit of space he needs right now. Its great you arent waiting by the phone/computer for him and hopefully that you are keeping occupied.

If he is on his way to separation then it will take time. There is no set period as in a week, 4 weeks etc. It takes as long as it takes and your AP may be trying to leave his M as painlessly for everyone as possible. You arent privvy to what is happening every minute so his reasons for delay may be genuine.

I am at a similar place to you right now. My XAP is trying to work out what he wants and whether his M will survive and was in NC (he has contacted me recently though when i thought he wouldnt dare try in case he got caught) I have hopes that he will end it and be with me, but also I am getting on with things in case they dont (the pessimist in me). All i can suggest is that if you are in a place where you are fairly comfortable and you can survive as life is, just cruise along and go with the flow. Nothing is going to be changed by your anxiety other than your peace of mind so if you can keep your fears and feelings under control while you sit this time out you will be OK. Que sera sera. Whatever will be IMO. Hang in there and keep posting when you feel the need as there are many here in a similar situation that can give you support and comfort that can help in the meantime.
Good luck to you.
SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.