Was NC smart choice?
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Was NC smart choice?
| Sun, 12-21-2008 - 1:15am |
I have only posted a few times so a quick history....AP and I have been involved for about 10 months, both married with kids.
| Sun, 12-21-2008 - 1:15am |
I have only posted a few times so a quick history....AP and I have been involved for about 10 months, both married with kids.
Maybe it was. I mean A's are not easy and soon the stress and emotional consequences will start to take a toll on you, too. I would never tell anyone to start an A..as we all know here we just kind of fall into them. But they lead to nothing but despair and disappointment. I'd feel bad too if my AP's W's family were ill and struggling. He does need to be with them..but I say be with them indefinitely. You know it's his problem..not yours that his W is not affectionate. Just like it was my XAP's problem his W stopped wanting sex.I'm not supposed to fix that for him and neither are you.
I'd start the New Year off right and just make a clean break. Start to focus on you and the reasons your M (if you are) is hurting and your issues. Not his. Just my two cents..But I know it's hard because I've had those obsessive thoguhts too..but lately I've grown so tired of the games..I'm letting it go. I don't care as much..and I'm ending mine..hopefully for good this time.
I think that what you did was very unselfish, and mature. I'm sure that it was very difficult to encourage him to go to her, and that says volumes about your character. Good for you!
I think the very nature of being in an A makes us feel insecure. I know that I use to be very confident in my "normal" relationships, but this whole A game has thrown me for aloop. I am constantly second guessing myself. Over analyzing everything he says and does. I drive myself insane! I think that it's a natural reaction to an unnatural situation. When you love someone, and have to share them, of course there will be competition, and self doubt.
I sincerely think that he has been w/ her all these years, and they ended up at this point, it is highly unlikely that they will all of a sudden look at each other, and decide they love each other and want to work it out. It's possible, but highly unlikely.
Try to stay calm, and keep busy. The new year is right around the corner. Good Luck
Justice,
I'm not sure it really says anything about my character considering I am involved in an A.