We almost did something just now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
We almost did something just now!
2
Tue, 12-16-2003 - 4:29pm
Things are really starting to get close with MM. I expect for him to back off any day now and then I'll feel really silly, but I guess I should just enjoy this moment while I'm in it. All day we've been joking about this room in my building that is now vacant. MM has the only key to that room (the only key he KNOWS of, anyway) and no one goes in there anyway. We were on the phone, talking about how he was leaving for the day and wouldn't be able to see me, and he told me to talk dirty to him. So after a while of that, he asked if I'd...um...satisfy him if he came down here and met me in that room. My heart was RACING beyond all control, but I said YES. I couldn't believe it. In a way I was bluffing, because I knew he wouldn't go through with it. He said, "Meet you in 2 minutes. Are you going to go through with it? Because I'm not going down there just for you to back out." I said, "If you're sure, I'll meet you in there and I'll do it." I don't know what I was thinking. I was terrified but if he had gone to that room I would have had to go through with it. I WANTED to go through with it, despite the fact that I know it's going to really affect him afterward. The guilt will bother him for a while... He got to where I was sure he was going to hang up and run down there and then he broke. He said, "I can't do it. I WANT to do it, but I just can't." So I told him to take some time and think about it and WHEN he decides he's ready, we'll meet. He tends to do something and THEN think about it later whereas I think about it a while, prepare for it, and then go for it. I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified, but SO excited all the same. Is it this way for everyone when you're on the verge?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Tue, 12-16-2003 - 4:35pm
My heart is racing for you. And damn...I'm so incredibly amazed how similar our stories are! LOL I play out that senerio in my mind all the time. When he finally gives in to the "inevitable" Keep me updated. Looks like we're at about the same stage. I should see my MM tonight when he comes to pick up his kids...although wifey will be with him. But tomorrow morning...it's just him and I again...I can't wait for that moment. I will make a move! I WILL I WILL I WILL...otherwise, i'm going to make myself crazy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Tue, 12-16-2003 - 5:14pm
LOL...I always say I'm going to make the " Move " everytime I know we are going to see eachother...but then I chicken out. I know why he want's ME to be the one to make the move....so that way, he cant say " hey, you were the one to make the first move, so if you get to emotional, dont blame me, because you know where you stand with me ".