We Both Want So Much More
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| Sun, 01-11-2009 - 10:46pm |
I know what's stopping us from being together too. My H & him were best friends for 15 years & even though a relationship hasn't existed between them for 10 years it's keeping us apart. We are both M w/2 small children each (ranging from 1-6). I saw him the other day for the 1st time in 4 months. It was less than 10 minutes but it was amazing. We have not been physical in 10 years =( (our relationship started 12 years ago w/a very long break in between---7 years or so). He kissed me twice---very small. It was like heaven. Then he emailed me w/in minutes of getting home to aplogize for being forward but saying how he couldn't resist me. The next day he told me how guilty he feels. He also wishes things were different for us as do I. I want him; I now know that. I've known it for a few months now & have only admitted it to my girlfriend who's in a similar situation. I won't tell him b/c I'm afraid he'll feel more guilty & go MIA on me =(
I refuse to believe that we can both be unhappy w/our M & continue to stay apart from one another b/c of his & my H's now dead friendship. And no, it didn't die b/c of us. They grew apart over the years. I know our spouses would be very hurt & it would take a long time to be able to be out in the open around them but I also know how wonderful we make each other feel (emotionally since physical has been so long ago). We connect on a level that neither of us has connected w/anyone else before. SIGH, I just needed to share this as it has been on my mind 100% of the time since seeing him.
Thanks for listening.
