We didn't do "it"
Find a Conversation
We didn't do "it"
| Wed, 10-08-2003 - 5:24pm |
MM and me have been in the A for 3 months and best friends and coworkers for a year. We have been intimate a few times mostly quickies because it is during day and at my house since H is at work and me and MM work at night together. A month ago we both said that we loved each other, 2 weeks ago he told me that it is not just sex, that he felt bad one time after we had done it. He said he felt like he just comes over for that and that he does not want it to be that way. Two days ago he came over and we did not do anything I mean nothing not even kiss. He came for maybe 45 minutes and we talked and he said he just wanted to see me and left, no kiss. Today came over for maybe another 45 minutes he had called me and told me he wanted to come see me and he did we sat apart but were talking alot mostly work and other things, at this point I want him to make a move but just waited, I was going to do nothing because after all he was the one that wanted to come over. Then he said he needed to go and I said ok walked him to the door and he almost walked away without giving me a kiss, he did and it was a peck, then I hugged him and he left. I called him and asked him why he did'nt make a move and he told me that he wanted to come and see me and talk and that he doesnt just come to my house to have sex that it's not just sex. I don't get it I thought guys usually had A's because of sex. Oh and 3 days ago out of the blue after work he text me "love you" after no affection. Weird huh! I am just confused and depressed, I don't know what to think.

Men have affairs for the same reason women do - the connection with another human being. Sometimes that's sexual, sometimes emotional, sometimes intellectual. Sounds like your OM has a nice handle on the fact that keeping your relationship to quickies would not be all that fulfilling.
So either A) YOU want the A to be just sex; or B) you are feeling somewhat insecure because he is not wanting sex, sex, sex all the time and because he is interested in YOU as a person rather than YOU as a body.
I'm not trying to be critical here; just asking you to see that perhaps (if B is true, which I'm guessing is the case) you need to have more confidence in yourself that you are worth more than just being used for sex in an A.
Others here would love to have your situation. I hope it works out for you...