We didn't know it was an affair..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2008
We didn't know it was an affair..
14
Thu, 11-27-2008 - 4:16pm

Background: My BF (we'll call him B) is 40 and I'm 37. He has 3 kids and I have 1.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2008
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 8:04pm

Hi all..I'm still here and still reading. Responding to some others posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 11:33am

I can't help but feel he is stringing you along until he sees how things will play out with his wife. If he *truly* wants to work things out at home for his kids sake, then he should have ended the relationship he has with you. I think what he's getting now is the best of both worlds. He's at home with his wife and kids but still has you on the side. I really feel that he is playing not only you but his wife. I'm willing to bet she's going to the sessions thinking she's working on her marriage and he's likely lying through his teeth that that's what he wants too.

I know you have feelings for him, but I think in the long run you'll be much better off if you don't have him in your life. There are many things that don't add up (i.e. the fact he didn't know he was still married). I really feel you would be better off walking away and not contacting him anymore. If down the road he's interested and you're still available then see what happens, but don't waste your time 'waiting' for him. It could be a long wait.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2008
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 2:22pm

*sigh*..I know you are right in my head..my heart is having so much conflict..and then my head is getting jerked a bit.


He says he's told her about me in counseling, and the counselor is aware also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 8:06pm

Come on now, how can he say that he is really giving counseling a serious try if he still has you waiting in the wings? He is being incredibly selfish!

In all honesty, I really think that he is playing you, and the W. Like the other poster said, he is probably lying to her, and you. He has taken cake eater to a whole new level.

You are a S woman, do yourself a favor, and kick his a** to the curb! Go out and meet a nice S guy. Someone that can give you all of himself, not just the parts that aren't being used by his W.

Either tell him to grow a pair, and move out, or go on w/ your life. You deserve better than he is willing to give.

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