We made love for the first time
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| Sun, 08-24-2003 - 2:26pm |
Our first two meetings were talking and heavy "making out" as we used to call it. It was wonderful. The third time we finally made love. Unfortunately, it wasn't great. I wasn't well lubed, and we had a bit of a problem. (Haven't had sex with spouse in 7 years!!!) I don't even think I was as turned on as I was with the petting.
Now I'm afraid that he will lose interest now that the awful/wonderful anticipation has been replaced by a less than perfect memory. He says it was fine, and he should have thought to bring a lubricant, and that he can't perform like he used to, either. It never occurred to me that I might need it-never had this problem before. Last time I had sex was before menopause!
Our situation is impossible anyway, we both know that. We do love each other though-at least he says so. I think of him constantly, can't eat or sleep. I never thought I would feel this way again. We enjoy each other so much, and were good friends when we knew each other before.
I'm not sure what my point is, but I almost wish we hadn't had sex. I don't know when we'll see each other again-not for several months at least, I imagine. I'll be talking to him this week, maybe tomorrow. I don't really want to talk about it any more with him-don't want to "talk it to death" as I said to him. But I want to find out if his ardor has cooled.
I can't talk about this with anyone in my life, so I could use some cyber shoulders.
Thanks

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