we said good bye.
Find a Conversation
we said good bye.
| Fri, 12-05-2008 - 4:19pm |
i called him today. we talked for a while about many different things. he's a former athlete, he's really into what he use to do, but he wants to train. the training would be for his church. he said to me, i can't do good for other people, look in the mirror at my self, feel good about myself if i'm not doing right. he's right. he always tried to block his feelings off from me, fight them, we've gotten way to close. he wants to do the right thing, he wants to have classes for his church. he's very religious. i told him i have a small christmas gift for him that i would like to give him. i know he wont see me so i can give it to him. i told him that i loved him, i know this is the best for the both us. i told him, i wont messanger him, or email him. we talked for 2 hours, i didn't want to let him go, and i cried. we said our goodbyes. it didn't end bad or nasty. he said to me he never wanted to hurt me in any way. i told him we've tried before, but never could make it work because we had easy access to one another. now we don't. i know it's good bye for good.i just wish i never fell i love with him. i never felt this way about any other man in my life. i wish him the best, and god bless him.

Pages
Hi Tori,
If he changes his mind would you consider picking up where you left off?
Tori, sorry for your pain. I don't even want to go where I consider breaking it off with my AP.
You said in one of your posts on this thread "i told him i'm blocking him from my email and messanger." then in another " i keep on checking my pc hoping maybe he changed his mind".
If you've blocked him, you're not going to know if he changed his mind.
Each day you don't have contact with him will make it easier.
Pisces
Hi Tori,
Do you go to church as well?
I am SO feeling you Tori. I know you probably read my post and know that AP, and I are no longer together.
The best advise that I can offer you is NC. I know the hardest thing to do right? But it really is key to letting the fog lift. It's very hard to see where you're going, and how you're getting there when the fog is so thick.
NOBODY loves their AP more than I do, but I refuse to be his dirty secret anymore. I know my situation is a little different than yours, so I can only tell you what I have experienced so far.
Yes, there is most definitely a void where he used to be, and yes, my heart feels like a blackhole, but I just keep pushing on. When the urge to call him comes I get angry, and it gets me through that weakness. I have even allowed myself to cry, and that's unusual for me.
I think keeping busy is key. The busier you are, the less you will wallow in your sadness. Try to remain positive, although I know how hard that is to do, especially during this time of year.
We are here if you need us.
Pages