we said good bye.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
we said good bye.
16
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 4:19pm
i called him today. we talked for a while about many different things. he's a former athlete, he's really into what he use to do, but he wants to train. the training would be for his church. he said to me, i can't do good for other people, look in the mirror at my self, feel good about myself if i'm not doing right. he's right. he always tried to block his feelings off from me, fight them, we've gotten way to close. he wants to do the right thing, he wants to have classes for his church. he's very religious. i told him i have a small christmas gift for him that i would like to give him. i know he wont see me so i can give it to him. i told him that i loved him, i know this is the best for the both us. i told him, i wont messanger him, or email him. we talked for 2 hours, i didn't want to let him go, and i cried. we said our goodbyes. it didn't end bad or nasty. he said to me he never wanted to hurt me in any way. i told him we've tried before, but never could make it work because we had easy access to one another. now we don't. i know it's good bye for good.i just wish i never fell i love with him. i never felt this way about any other man in my life. i wish him the best, and god bless him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 3:14am
AP and i have talked about church before, and i mentioned to him that i think i would like to start going. now i am going to start going, it will help me to find peace. my AP said he wanted to give back to the community, and these classes he wants to teach our his way of doing it. i honestly hope he finds his happiness as well and he can become the person he wants to be. maybe we'll both find peace.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 3:19am
i made a promise to my AP that i wont message or email him. i'm giving him that. it's so hard. thank you.i know he wants to do right, and the person on the other side of mirror he can like and look up to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 10:18pm
Possible. I doubt it, though. I knew two weeks ago he was going to give her the heave-ho during her health issues drama. I knew that possible STD thing would be it. Nothing like
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Sun, 12-07-2008 - 11:03am
we are both married, so he had no std. he's very religious, his spiritual side, his guilt side is what he's dealing with. i never told him about my going to the obgyn for a lump. just a sonogram. you have no idea what you are talking about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Sun, 12-07-2008 - 12:03pm

i just want to say how sorry i am.

~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2008
Sun, 12-07-2008 - 10:41pm

My heart goes out to you. I understand. My EAP feel guilt too and will get close to me and then pull away. He won't even see me and we have been talking for a year. I have known him since I was 13, he was also my first love. I haven't seen him in 13 years. He is like hot and cold, yes and no.


I too, am active in my church and I also deal with the right and wrong, but our A is still an EA. So, that helps me rationalize things. I have decided though to pull back, focus on my family, me, and see what happens.


Everyone is here for you. Just take one day at a time. It's so wonderful that you both ended well and that you truly care and respect one another.

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