weekend with my AP and his family/wife
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| Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:25pm |
I've been a long time reader but have never posted until today. I really need some good thoughts. My AP and I have been involved for nearly 4 years and have been friends for 25 before then. His DW and I are friends and my DH and he are friends. We often do things together socially and with each others families. We've always challenged each other intellectually and one time got carried away with a challenge and the rest is history. I love him and have said it in an email but never face to face. He's never said he loves me but I really think he does because of some of the things he says/does for me.
We email each other nearly every day and see each other for sex about once a month, more if possible. DH and I are going away with them and their kids and grandkids for the long weekend. We will be in a small cabin surrounded with his family. Campfires, swimming, outdoors games and quite a bit of adult beverages.
We were together last Saturday for the best sex we've ever had and have teased each other through the week. We've been trying to get together for a rendezvous this week but it's not going to work out. Now we've got each other turned on beyond reason.
Now we have to spend the whole weekend together without a touch or grope let alone a kiss or caress. While I am going to be so happy to be able to spend the time with him, this is going to be difficult. Just asking for good thoughts please.
His Lover and Friend

Hi tomg
I am not sure whether to be really envious or feel really badly for you. I would love to be able to spend a weekend with my AP, his W and my DH,
Life is too Short ... A. since Mar 29th 2009
Welcome to MAS Tears!
You're probably back from your holiday weekend by now and I hope it all went well. I can only imagine the turmoil of an A in these situations. It's funny, since coming to these boards I look at couples who are very close and always vacationing together etc. in a different way. I now always wonder if two of the spouses are having an A with each other and look closely at pictures or at them and see if I can pick anything up LOL! Being here has made me a bit of a cynic that way - this situation is so common. But it has to be one of the harder situations, and one with the least chance of ending up together, since discovery would be so much more "nuclear" than most d-days.
Let us know how the weekend went, and I look forward to hearing more from you.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Edited because I think I misunderstood...
Edited 7/6/2010 2:13 pm ET by cl-lexione
Proud to be a
You've
Things went well over the weekend. It was just so nice to spend the time with him. We did manage a few touches and kisses here and there. And a little something happened late one night. I won't go into detail but will leave you all to use your imagination. It was wonderful.
We're hoping for a little rendezvous on Thursday to relieve him of the tension. And of course I'll get a repeat.
I suppose some day I will have to take the time and introduce myself and tell a little about our history together. I've been reading on here for the entire 3 years of our affair, just never posted until now. Thanks for your response.
Good thoughts?
Thanks for your lovely support. Guess now I know why I waited so long to ever post here. Don't think I ever will again. People like you could make sour milk rancid.
I'm outta here!
It's your choice whether to leave or not Tears. This is a public message board, and some posts appear to be not so much "support" as others. But on a public message board, you have to be prepared to take the good with the bad.
There are others here in your situation. The truth is, we develop feelings for people that we have contact with, and unfortunately, friends' husbands or husbands' friends are people we will have contact with. When people are just "thinking about" having an A like that I strongly discourage it because it's SO complicated, and the betrayals go beyond the usual. Once they are already in an A like that, they deserve support just like anyone else here.
So stay, if you want to. Most people will be glad to give you support, but others will express their opinion. Take the good and ignore the bad, and use the "ignore" feature for anyone you don't want to see a post from again.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
I completely understand what you're saying. I know there are people for one reason or another who post unkind things here. I have seen it often enough. I was just in no mood to take it. If it would have been an admonition from one of the regulars I see on here and not some troll, I would be fine.
I didn't choose to fall for this man. We fought it for years. And now struggle with guilt and stress over the fall out that could be our lives if we were to be discovered. I am not going to leave my family and have no intention of trying to steal him away from his. I love his family and he loves mine. I don't like this situation but I can't stop loving him. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would.
Thanks for helping me have a cooler head. I will continue to read as this place has helped me more than I can ever explain through the years. Not sure if I will post again.
Tears- I can totally relate to your situation. My AP is my H's cousin's husband. We both live in the same city and hang out quite a bit. Unlike you, our A is new..just a few weeks old.
This past weekend we all went out of town for a family wedding. The four of us all flew to that city together..both AP and I were very careful during the flight to make sure we didn't act out of the ordinary with one another. It was very hard!!
Luckily we were able to sneak away some sweet words and kisses to each other once we got there. And an added bonus..two of the 4 days, we met in pre-arranged spots for some very secretive and passionate sex :)
I'm glad you were able to enjoy some fun time with your AP as well!