This is weird...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2003
This is weird...
5
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 11:07am
I am having trouble making sense of this. Anyone ever feel like this...

I haven't seen my mm for several days...and quit frankly, i don't really feel the urge to. I actually may not be affected if i wasn't able to see him again...maybe.

I am going to see him today..and i know that when i do, all the feelings will come back. ITs kinda like an out of sight out of mind thing.

I know once i see him today...i will want to see him everyday this week, but when time passes and i haven't seen him, i am fine with that.

I am thinking that he may know a little to much about me and h. He has no problem asking ?'s and i have no problem answering them...but i personaly don't want to know about him and his w so i don't ask, and therefor don't know much.

So i am thinking i don't want to talk about the h with him anymore or at least let him in on any or our inadequecies (spelling?). Does that make sense. I am wondering if i feel like he has the upper hand cuz he knows what he does for me that the h doesn't...yah thats it. And i am really unsure of what i give him that the w doesn't. So maybe i am just trying to keep up a wall so as not to get hurt.

Anyone ever feel like this or can offer any kind of insight?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 11:24am
I have had similar experiences to yours... Went on a trip with H a couple of weeks ago and by Sunday, I was dreading coming back to work. I never know how my day is going to be here...maybe I'll be able to see him, maybe not. But if you're anything like me, if something comes up today where you can't see MM, you'll be upset probably, don't you think? It's real easy to feel strong and unconcerned when you know you're going to see him in a little while. When you do see him, why not focus on his bad qualities? Try to see him for whom he really is and not be blinded by your love for him? It's possible when you're with him, you just get so wrapped up in him that he's able to gain control over you and your emotions but when you're away, your strength builds up because you're not under his power. That's what happens with me anyway, but my MM has issues!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 11:47am
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Edited 9/20/2004 2:15 pm ET ET by seansluv
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 11:57am
i forgot to mention


i also feel like i have given om way too much info on my relationship with dh. when we get in an argument he always brings my complaints of dh up.

i recently was really upset, dh was being a little rude to me. i told om about it and he made his comments and in a way i felt like i wanted to defend dh.

there are some things that have been popping up..like signs that maybe om is not the person i want to be with. in a way that makes me sad because i have strong feelings for him, but i still believe i am creating the perfect person for me...a common thing with online relationships.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 3:44pm
Hi.

In my last experience with OM, He had a rule, he would not talk about anything negative about his w. I respected him so much more because of that. He listened to me if I wanted to say things, but never asked or never put my dh down. OM had several a's and I was, as far as I know, his last. He truly was incredible, I admired and respected him so much. He would confess times of jealousy and outrage, but for the most part, our spouses were off the topic. He would talk to me about his weekends, plans for the evenings, but we really never talked much about his family or mine. Just tried to keep our A about us.

That would probably be the best medicine. I mean, of course, there is going to be times, but maybe you could ask him to be there for you, and not to come down on your dh. I mean, this relationship is about the 2 of you, nothing else........

Hope it helps...

NSS

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 4:25pm
nss,

you are so right.