Weird behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Weird behavior
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 10:15am

So my AP left to Cuba about 2 weeks ago. He wrote to me telling me that he wants to have an email from me everyday with details of what I'm doing during my day and that because of slow and expensive connections, he won't be able to do the same thing, nor will be able to reply or comment on things that I'm writing. He just downloads my emails and then reads them offline.

When he was here, he wrote long emails to me in the beginning (before we started the A), so I didn't think anything about it at first. Personally, I don't even need to know the details of someone's day, especially when they travel.

However, I receive an email from him every second day (doesn't seem that it's so difficult to connect) and the focus seems to be mostly on my daily details. If he connects in the morning (6 am) and didn't receive the email about the previous day, he would remind me. And that, despite really long and detailed emails I'm normally sending him.

I would think that the most important thing would be for him to receive an email from me telling him that I miss him, think of him, etc. not a detailed description of what I'm doing. But apparently, I'm wrong. I told him that I think that it's weird and he says that we were in such close contact just recently that he wants to continue like that. However, my impression is that what he really wants is to know if I'm meeting other men. He denies it and says that he's interested in everything, my son, my mom, but ALSO in possible encounters with men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 10:51am
You know him best of course but to me it seems like he wants to know if you are interacting with other men, if your dating & that stems from insecurity because he's not with you as often as you use to. To me its like a way of monitoring you. I find it odd that he wants to know every single detail of your life. He's the one away on travel so he needs to focus on the subject at hand and not worry so much about what you are or are not doing.
Possessiveness & Insecurity is really a turn off for me as well. Try and send him some short & sweet emails and you'll see how his tune changes.


Much peace & Love,



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 11:09pm
sireanita wrote:

For example, I had a pretty busy and exiting weekend, which involved a photoshoot, seeing the "Swan lake" ballet, going dancing, a brunch....He connects (sometimes we chat) and asks me only about dancing and if I met interesting men, etc etc. WTH ? I wrote to him that I was missing him the whole time while in the club !

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2011
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 1:46pm
Stop giving details about your day . Keep it short and sweet and if he asks, tell him that you are going to talk to him in detail when he comes back .
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2007
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 2:56pm

He's guilty of things he isn't sharing with you.