Tell us more about the R Daisy. Is it long distance? Will it be a long time before another physical get together?
Six years is an eternity to go through without any sex. Have you tried to fix that problem at all - talking to H, marriage counseling, sex therapy?
Welcome to MAS! I look forward to hearing more from you. :-)
Proud to be a
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
I can totally relate to your post. I think that the real reason I got together with AP is because my ex-h just couldn't (or wouldn't) make love to me. We were in a sexless M for more years than I care to count! I will admit that I put up some barriers, however, as my husband, I feel he should have at least made the effort to help me through that so that we could experience true intimacy together. I could have done the same thing I suppose, except the truth of the matter is that he just didn't do "it" for me.
AP and I have been more intimate with each other in the last three years than my ex-h and I were in 25 years of M!!! Oh yeah, I discovered that I don't have a problem in the bedroom either...do you know how happy that made me? I trully thought that there was something horribly wrong with me, and now I know that I'm normal....hallelulah!
Shortly into the A I had a d-day, and while I could have tried to save/lie and or do anything I could to keep my comfortable life (and it was comfortable) when it came right down to it, I couldn't face another 25 years with a man that I wasn't interested in being intimate with. I chose to tell the truth and we parted ways. Yes, I've experienced financial hardship...more so than at any other time of my life but I'm not going to let it defeat me. Or rather, I'm going to continue to try and not let it defeat me....I have had some really tough times and it's felled me several times, but I have no choice...I pick myself up and just keep going. Oh yeah, still with AP...who's never been anything but honest with me and has told me since the beginning that he's not going to be leaving his wife...even though he exists in a loveless and (I think) sexless M. Yeah, that's the BIG thing that totally wipes me out sometimes...but I love him and I don't want to be without him.
My advice, guard your heart...and be prepared. Most people do experience some sort of D-day, they are not pleasant...no matter what the state of the primary R is.
Nice to see you at MAS, there's a lot of wonderful people here (especially our CL lexi). It's a very supportive place and I for one, am very glad I found it.
Tell us more about the R Daisy. Is it long distance? Will it be a long time before another physical get together?
Six years is an eternity to go through without any sex. Have you tried to fix that problem at all - talking to H, marriage counseling, sex therapy?
Welcome to MAS! I look forward to hearing more from you. :-)
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Hi daisy,
I can totally relate to your post. I think that the real reason I got together with AP is because my ex-h just couldn't (or wouldn't) make love to me. We were in a sexless M for more years than I care to count! I will admit that I put up some barriers, however, as my husband, I feel he should have at least made the effort to help me through that so that we could experience true intimacy together. I could have done the same thing I suppose, except the truth of the matter is that he just didn't do "it" for me.
AP and I have been more intimate with each other in the last three years than my ex-h and I were in 25 years of M!!! Oh yeah, I discovered that I don't have a problem in the bedroom either...do you know how happy that made me? I trully thought that there was something horribly wrong with me, and now I know that I'm normal....hallelulah!
Shortly into the A I had a d-day, and while I could have tried to save/lie and or do anything I could to keep my comfortable life (and it was comfortable) when it came right down to it, I couldn't face another 25 years with a man that I wasn't interested in being intimate with. I chose to tell the truth and we parted ways. Yes, I've experienced financial hardship...more so than at any other time of my life but I'm not going to let it defeat me. Or rather, I'm going to continue to try and not let it defeat me....I have had some really tough times and it's felled me several times, but I have no choice...I pick myself up and just keep going. Oh yeah, still with AP...who's never been anything but honest with me and has told me since the beginning that he's not going to be leaving his wife...even though he exists in a loveless and (I think) sexless M. Yeah, that's the BIG thing that totally wipes me out sometimes...but I love him and I don't want to be without him.
My advice, guard your heart...and be prepared. Most people do experience some sort of D-day, they are not pleasant...no matter what the state of the primary R is.
Nice to see you at MAS, there's a lot of wonderful people here (especially our CL lexi). It's a very supportive place and I for one, am very glad I found it.
Take care,
benska