Were You Looking for an Affair?
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Were You Looking for an Affair?
| Tue, 05-26-2009 - 11:05pm |
Were you looking for an affair partner or did you just happen to find yourself in the throes of an affair? Did it happen gradually or did you hook up immediately? Are you in love with your AP or is your affair a physical thing only? I'm just curious as to how/why others have found themselves with another person while being in a committed relationship. I, myself was not looking for anything at all, as i had enough confusion going on in my life. An affair was the last thing I thought i needed, yet our friendship turned into something i can't do without, and don't want to do without, as i am in love with him. But life marches on with or without him , and i'll just enjoy the time i do have. Altho sometimes its like torture, having to leave him and go home.

Looking for the affair? Nope
We were friends for 3 yrs before anything became physical. Now that I look back however, I can see that it was an EA for most of the first 3 yrs.
We have had 2 D-days...and are still going strong.
In all honesty I was looking.. I was so tire of not having a male companionship.
Nope. My AP is a friend of mine Ive known since highschool. We had some history as history goes at that age but ended up as very good friends instead.
Why would I or you want to end it when our needs/wants are being met?I say the same for my AP as he has to say the same.i fulfill all his needs which are not being met at home and we both are careful about meeting them.
I have come to realize that this A will end if the needs of one of us are not being met.We love each other enough to know what the other wants.
(((hugs))), You should not feel jealous of some one
Were you looking for an affair partner or did you just happen to find yourself in the throes of an affair? I was definitely not looking for an A.
MASAlterego
www.nicegirllikeme.blogspot.com
"Were you looking for an affair partner or did you just happen to find yourself in the throes of an affair?"
There is a VERY small percentage of women who went "looking" for an affair. To go "looking", suggests that you put up an ad or answered ads or were looking through all your opposite sex friends and co-workers for a possible AP and then went about making it happen. I think that sort of behavior is more common among males. By the way, I don't think that "going looking" is such a bad thing really. (No, I didn't "go looking"). It's honest, you know what you want or need, and you get it. Some here seem to have the attitude that if they didn't go looking, they're "not as bad" as someone who would go and look. I say it all leads to the same thing and it doesn't really matter whether you "looked" or not!
On the other hand, NONE of us "just happened to find ourselves in the throes of an affair". There are so many steps along the way, crossing the line emotionally, verbally and then sometimes physically. Each step was a choice. We didn't "fall" into anything or wake up one day in an affair through no choice of our own. LOL!
" Are you in love with your AP or is your affair a physical thing only? "
I think it's somewhere in the middle. It's far more than just physical - it's been 10 years! He's become an integral part of my life and a dear friend and confidante. In the beginning, I had some of those infatuated feelings but I think I turned them off, knowing it was best that I keep some emotional distance. After that, those "butterfly" feelings, those chemically induced cravings, they didn't come back. It was as if I had my chance for them, and it was a one time offer. So I don't think I'm "in love" with him, although I love him and worry about him, etc.
Weird, because most people say that about their spouses.
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I