We've Rekindled our R... ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
We've Rekindled our R... ;)
65
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 12:29pm

well since last Thursday, AP#1 has been calling me every day just about.

~k

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 4:21pm
Im posting to your reply because i think you are way out of line. Who are you to critisize some one else for the way they handle their affair or affairs. Its not for you to judge. As far as the statement about being sexually abused, u may owe some people an apology. Chill out lady.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 5:10pm
and you know what?
~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2005
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 7:30pm
Sorry misread your post. I didn't know it was just sex. That cool. Because that all it can be really. You guys are smart to realize that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 8:46pm
let me ask you something, like in my case if it was all just sex, then why did i just spend an hour and 15 minutes on messanger, he took me out last week to lunch, emails little hellos, talked on the phone for an hour last night, then i got home and we talked on messanger for an hour, it's like this quit a bit. of course we go about 4 days of nc, but it's something that's unavoidable. we haven't had sex in 2 months, maybe almost 3. we are good friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2005
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 10:53pm
If its not FWB thing for you my dear. Then you are in trouble. To me its an addiction. When you don't get that attention you crave it will be bad. I am trying to get threw it. It isn't easy. I crave it . But I know i can beat it. I have no choice really. How long have you been in your affair? Mine was great in the beginning. When feelings get involved people get hurt. I know this woman wont be having another. This was my first and last. I cant say if yours is just sex. You know whether it is or not. If you don't know now. Stay in the affair you will find out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 2:51am
to round it off, 2 years. my affair went backwards. at first it was sex. for a year and half. long story short, things changed and now we can't see each other the way we use to be able to. it's given us the chance to get to know each other on that very personal level. we talk 2 to 3 days a week for about 1 to 2 hours each time. we see each other about once every 3 weeks to a month, no sex.we want to keep the friendship. we've gotten very close. he knows i'm in love with him. would i have anoth affair, absolutely not. the sexual part of the affair, december 5th, he decided just friends. i'm totally ok with it. we are very close. funny part, i see x-ap less, but talk to him more then my h . last night, xap was so busy with his kids, making dinner ect. i said to him, let me let ya go, do what you need to do. he was like no, i want to give you our time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 3:11am
WOW.......that was heavy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 3:19am
I'm going to leave most of what the other poster said alone, but what she said about young girls who have been molested being promiscuous is true. Either one of two things happens when a girl is violated in that manner. Either she becomes frigged, or she becomes promiscuous. Very seldom will a victim end up w/ a "normal" sex life, unless she goes to serious counseling. Whichever route that she will take tends to be mostly based on core personality traits such as shyness, or being outgoing. I know unfortunately first hand the devastating effects that molestation bring on. So having said that, I don't feel that an apology is in order. FYI.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 4:02am
the reason why said that is because it happened to me by my father. not once or twice. for many years of abuse. 3 years it went on for. i was never promiscuous, frigged with my husband, and with my x-ap until he helped me to open up and be accepting and trust. i did go to therapy for it in high school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 10:52am
Oh, I get it. Because it happened to you and you weren't promiscuous, then, therefore, nobody is, right? Wrong. You may not like what I have to say, but I have a right to say it. I stand by everything I said, including to you.

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