We've Rekindled our R... ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
We've Rekindled our R... ;)
65
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 12:29pm

well since last Thursday, AP#1 has been calling me every day just about.

~k

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 11:48am

Well, perhaps you are the exception to the rule. You're the first one that I have met. I come into countless victims of rape, and molestation at work, and almost all of the stories are the same.

I was also molested by my father, but it was for two years where yours was for three years. I'm never happy to meet another survivor, but it is good that you have been to counseling. Maybe that's why you didn't have any problems w/ your sex life. I'm more incline to think that it was the therapy that helped you as apposed to you being the exception to the rule.

Justice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 12:06pm

I 100% agree with everything you have said.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 1:33pm

I also agree with you 100%. Thanks for having the guts to speak out and say something that I suspect many of us (including myself) were thinking.

What tellithowitis did was not 'judging'.... it was pointing out to this person that her actions and attitude are disturbing at best, and in my opinion, very dysfunctional. Not to mention sad. This kind of behavior comes from someone with serious self-esteem problems. This is not meant to be 'judgemental' but hopefully to be helpful to the poster in question, in realizing that this is not healthy behavior, and also to others on this board who may erroneously think this is the 'norm' and that this kind of behavior is supported.




Edited 1/19/2009 1:33 pm ET by seeingclearly_09
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 1:51pm
The way she went about saying it was hurtful and wrong. You never call some one a sick ticket. I see a lot of ganging up on certain posters at certain times. You all seem to join the same band wagon.it seems some people loose your identity to afaraid to post how you feel, then join the band wagon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 1:54pm

Thank you Oxbell, Seeingclearly and anyone else out there in cyberland that gets just what it is I'm trying to do. Yes, when people speak out in a manner that is not coddling, it seems that they are accused of "judging" or, better yet, accused of being a BS. We all judge. Hell, aren't many of these women quite guilty of judging their AP's spouse? Yes, indeed they are.

I'm sorry, but I call a spade, a spade. If someone doesn't like it, oh well. Don't read it. But, yes, they whine. You're being mean, yada, yada, yada. And you just know that down the road they'll all be over on EAS when the affair ends. Very rarely is there an exception to this.

I'm sorry, but this behavior is extremely dysfunctional. And some of these people that respond act like it's just all in a day's work to be sleeping around with multiple partners while married. It's funny how she didn't respond to anything about her husband, either. Because I just know he has no idea, and if he were to find out and dump her, she'd be singing a different tune. She really has no business being married, IMHO. Why not stay single and sleep with whomever you wish? I'll tell you why...it's called cake eating, and women can be just as guilty as men. She wants the stability, financial security, etc. of the marriage, but wants to sleep with the town at the same time. She doesn't want to have to make it on her own. She's in for a big surprise down the road. Guaranteed.

Thanks, again, for taking a stand with me. And for the record....I am NOT a BS. I am someone that is just as guilty. Having had an affair in my life, I am more than qualified to give an opinion. For the record, I think affairs are wrong. I think they are very hurtful and extremely selfish. I think that people who are involved in them turn a blind eye on their values in order to continue on in them. I also know that many decent and good people find themselves having an affair. But, eventually, they realize what they're doing is wrong and it ends. Eventually. I come to this board not because I think affairs are good things. I come because there are people on here that post some great things, and there are people who want to hear what others have to say. Not the sugarcoated crap that some people dish out, but the real deal. The truth of affairs.




Edited 1/19/2009 2:20 pm ET by tellithowitis
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 2:03pm
Maybe im just lucky i guess. I dont speak with my father, i havent in years,
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 2:22pm

What gives me the right? The constitution gives me the right to say that. It's called Freedom of Speech.

So let me get this straight.....this woman is a serial cheater, having multiple sex partners behind her husband's back. And you think she should be married because.......???

I would really love to hear your rationale.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2009
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 2:23pm

Not sure what you mean by 'band wagon jumping'. Because I expressed agreement with a particular poster? You did the same thing; does that make you a 'band wagon jumper'? And by the way, doesn't that qualify as 'name calling'?

I agree... we all judge each other here, in one way or another. I didn't come here expecting not to be 'judged' (which, in reality, just means that others are giving their opinions on your life, and we all do that here, don't we?) I don't have a problem with that. I made mistakes. I'm an adult and I should have made better choices. But at least I've come here wanting to redeem myself... get some of my independence and self-esteem back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 3:02pm

"You all seem to join the same band wagon.it seems some people loose your identity to afaraid to post how you feel, then join the band wagon."


Come on Tori

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 3:29pm
Its not for you to say whether she should be married or not. You are not qaulified, nor a part of her life. This is a public forum, yes. Thats as far as it goes.

Pages