We've Rekindled our R... ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
We've Rekindled our R... ;)
65
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 12:29pm

well since last Thursday, AP#1 has been calling me every day just about.

~k

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 9:07pm

it's not everyone, but there are people who are married that are happy at home and still have affairs. i think the reason why they have affairs is because they can. the reason why i don't end my marriage is because of comfort, obligation, and finances. the life i live i would loose. i'm not willing to give it up. it's selfish i know, but my business. xap, he has children and a home, he shouldn't have to give that up. we are not having an emotional affair, and he's not doing things for me that he doesn't do for his wife. your way off on that.

omg i want to laugh because you are so wrong. i would never want my xap to leave his life to be with me. his place is with his home, the same as i would never leave my home to be with him. i don't want that. i have a man at home. i just have a nice friendship. some one i email and talk to when i need comfort or good conversation. as far as looking nice for him, it's because i gained 10 pounds from sitting home, and didn't want to look fat when i seen him.i've never been fat, and take pride in always being in shape. i lost myself when i lost my job and depression set in and i stopped caring. i'm back on track again with running, sprints and weights.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 9:12pm
this is a public board yes, it's not for you to judge her marriage. this is a support board, not a criticizing board. if you want to criticize her actions take it to a debate board will people will talk about it. so what you will, but this is the wrong board for it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 9:15pm
it does happen, rare but it does. i even think it's helped my husband and i, i tolerate sex more with him. i tolerate his presence more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 10:52pm

SIGH..............

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 11:15pm
i will say i'm sorry for going off the hook, but name calling such as being called a sick ticket, or non marriage material is wrong and hurtful. refrain from name calling. i guess maybe i am in an ea. he's been pursuing me a lot lately and needing my support. i'll never turn my back and like i said i do love him and care for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 4:06am

To the posters who have pride in themselves (you know who you are!) and are trying vigilantly to restore some semblance of dignity and sense into this train wreck of a thread, I COMMEND YOU!!! I'm glad we have you here to balance out this board.

For me personally, I've given up. Hence, why I don't post as much anymore. It's hard to see good advices just fly to the wind especially when talking to some of the correspondents on this thread. Makes one wonder how grown up women can have such a stunted mental growth that they seem stuck in 3rd grade. And to those equal opportunity screwer, well, all I can say is. "It's not healthy", you should seek professional help and please use protection.....

So, for those who still believe in this community and are selflessly giving their efforts in dispensing good logical advice and support, God bless you!



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"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 8:30am

H Kimmie,


That is great that after 2.5 year together you guys have been able to rekindle your R, to find the spark again.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2009
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 9:12am

Goddess,

I've only recently started posting but I've been lurking for a long time. It is people like you (and others.... you know who you are) who balance out some of the communications that have taken place on this thread, and make the board what it is. I am sincerely sorry to hear that you are burned out and are not posting as much. Please believe that there are members here who truly come here for help and support, and who do not live in a world of denial as some do who post here. And who do not treat the A as a big 'game' that revolves only around OUR needs and wants. And who have the self-respect to not make light of the fact that others peripherally involved in the A do not deserve to be hurt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 1:50pm

tgr, i want to thank you for your support and opbjectiveness.

~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2009
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 3:31pm

There you go! THAT'S what I'm looking for. THAT'S what I'm trying to elicit. Some honesty and some clarity. People just do not sleep around like this, while married, unless there's something going on inside. People do not get off on this power thing you talk about unless there's something going on inside. You don't say anything about your husband. But I just have to believe that if you care about him at all, there has GOT to be some semblance of shame within you that you're not fessing up to on this board. If you love your husband, surely you must have tinges of guilt at times for what you are doing to him. You situation differs from others on this board in that most of them have fallen into an affair because they have feelings for that person. But you speak of your affairs as if they're sporting events. Affairs for sport, if you will. Extracurricular activities. You say that you've tried to commit suicide over dealings with A's. Surely this has to tell you that these are not harmless little activities you're doing. You say you're not ready to face your issues. I ask you what needs to happen in order for you to be ready? Your husband finding out? An STD? A pregnancy where you don't really know who the father is? What? You admit that you probably do have a sexual addiction. That you use sex as a way to deal with things. That's what an addiction is! And sexual addiction is just as harmful to a person as any other addiction, just in different ways.

I really hope that you can find it within you to get yourself some therapy to sort out what's going on with you. Before you lose your husband through it all.

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