What am I in??
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What am I in??
| Mon, 09-14-2009 - 3:50pm |
I am so confused and not sure what to think. I don’t know where we stand; here is my “long story short” –
| Mon, 09-14-2009 - 3:50pm |
I am so confused and not sure what to think. I don’t know where we stand; here is my “long story short” –
This is totally normal from my experience. AP & I work together for 9 years but 8 of those he was on he road. We became friends when he started in the office. He was always trying to cheer me up and ask what was wrong when I confided in him that I was having an EA with another co-worker. He made it his mission to get me away from the other co-worker but in the process we began flirting etc. After 2 months we slept together and we agreed it could never happen again because he felt so guilty. We continued our flirting and playing around then something came over him one day 6 months later and we slept together twice in one day but this time it was different and there was no conversation about it never happening again. it was more whatever happens, happens.
We are more done now then we have been and it hurts especially having to see him all day long but I'm hoping it will get easier with time. I understand how you feel, I don't want to be done, I love how he makes me feel when he pays attention to me.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and sharing your own situation(s). So you are saying that after the first initial time is over and you go through this “holding period”, if it does happen again it is a completely different type of “situation”? Why is that I wonder?? I also hear that after the first time the sex gets better and better, is that true also? I guess I’m a little concerned, I say that because while I do have feelings for him, they are not MAJOR like “in love” feelings BUT I do feel that if we do it again, it will become much harder for me to ever walk away from this and I will be much more attached to him, I don’t understand why I feel that way though now and not for the first time we slept together, do I make sense, lol?
Thank you so much for your thoughts and sharing your own situation(s). So you are saying that after the first initial time is over and you go through this “holding period”, if it does happen again it is a completely different type of “situation”? Why is that I wonder?? I also hear that after the first time the sex gets better and better, is that true also? I guess I’m a little concerned, I say that because while I do have feelings for him, they are not MAJOR like “in love” feelings BUT I do feel that if we do it again, it will become much harder for me to ever walk away from this and I will be much more attached to him, I don’t understand why I feel that way though now and not for the first time we slept together, do I make sense, lol?
hi LisGA,
i wanted to share some of my thoughts with you on workplace As. Of course there are many different people with many different experiences, but some things are common to all affairs at work.
First off, my A also started out as none of us wanting to change the status quo, and this lasts for a while. It could be many months before you change your mind on that. But, eventually one of you, if not both, will want more, especially in a physical A. There is no way to avoid the talk of "what we are" - it will come up and it will be hard.
Unless you are totally cold hearted and have no feelings inside you, there's no way you can sleep with someone for months and not develop an attachment.
So, basically, you're in an A. the on and off is totally normal, and usually it gets even more confusing and painful as time goes by until either you're discovered or one AP wants out.
I want out - my A lasted over a year with my xAP desparately trying to hang on but it's just way too difficult to deal with on an emotional/moral/psychological level for me.
My advice would be to not get involved in an A, and definitely not one in the workplace. They will make your life very very difficult.
i hope this helps or at least gives you some food for thought,
Sunshine
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Thanks to all of you for your input, it has helped me a lot to try and figure stuff out, i'm so thankful for this place!
Do any of you think he and I can be alone w/out anything happening and just be friends?
our situation sounds alike; you were brave and ended it; i am trying but i don't know how; how can i end something that i don't even know how it started. there is no communication with us until i get the next text "doors open" text. those usually come a couple times a month; we were just together fri pm.
i am m he is s. what we have is just good sex and the desire to have it with one another; i have no idea why it has continued for 3 years; most likely because i enable it. how do i stop and really mean it ?