what am I doing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
what am I doing?
4
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 2:07am
I have been seeing someone for about 21/2 months. This man makes me feel alive. It isn't sex. We have done that twice. He is nice, actually interested in what I have to say. He dosen't call me names. He flew 2000 miles to see me for 1 hour. This is the second time he has made this trip. He makes me feel like a woman again. I am not sure if I am suppose to feel guilty. But I am starting to feel happiness again. Its always been there but burried after years of emotional abuse. I feel like my shell is opening. This other man has helped me become confindent. I have always been confindent, lately its just been covered with crap. His hello makes me smile. Is it wrong to feel happy?

All I know is I am happy. When I am happy and enjoying myself, my house, job, kids and life in general just run smoother. I just needed to get that out. Thank You.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 6:51am
It is nice to hear stories about happiness and your confidence helped you seek and find it! Enjoy your relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 8:28am
I feel like I just read something out of my mind! I am in the same boat. I have an ok life - normal and comfortable. But, I have met someone who makes me feel like me. My husband is very emotionally abusing, and I have taken it for years and years. He loves me - I don't doubt that. But, he doesn't make me happy. Even thinking back on it, I don't ever remember feeling desperately 'in love' with him - just feeling safe and comfortable. Self esteem can only be broken so much. Feeling like you are under his thumb can only happen for so long. This new person in my life isn't married, and has made the comment that he would wait for me as long as it takes to make my decision on my current situation. He makes me feel alive - he listens - he doesn't abuse - he has wonderful morals and beliefs on treatment of those that you love - he sincerely loves me for me. Even if I do get out of my marriage and we start something together, I don't know that it will be forever. But, even if it ends later I will feel more complete if I get out and live my life now. Chances come every day - you have to take advantage of them to truely make yourself happy. Don't pass this one up. With children, you have alot more to think about than I do. But, please don't ignore your feelings...they are there for a reason. They may guide you sideways, but eventually you will end up on the path you were destined to be on. I thank God for putting this person in my life. Like I said, it may not be for a long term commitment, but it was definitely a kick in the butt for me to stand up for my feelings and take control of my life again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 10:45am
To both ladies... good for you. Sounds like you've grabbed some happiness for yourselves and I'm so glad for you. But please consider why you are staying in an emotionally abusive situation. You deserve the whole pie, not just a little sliver.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2004
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 1:02pm
Oh sweetie, I know what you're saying but what about your kids? I have four children under 13 and I almost threw our lives away for the feelings that you are feeling now. In the end Mr. Wonderful, made me feel worse because of course he had another woman. I mean, I am married after all so who am I to be the one and only?.

If your guy is single, be very, very careful! He will have nothing to lose while you have everything to lose! He's in the driver's seat here and truth be told you don't really know yet WHO you are inviting into your life. If he's married, even if you end up with him, he already got a bad track record in the fidelity department.This is crazy, girl...do you or your family really need this?