what can I do? I have such problems
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| Sat, 10-11-2003 - 11:15am |
I feel like I wasn't attracted to him though. He seems needy, I guess. Then we were sitting in his truck and he put his arm around me and started rubbing my neck and I grabbed his hand and threw it off me. I think I hurt his feelings and he said he though I was more affectionate. I didn't know what to say. I told him I need time to get comforable with someone. Which is so NOT true.
I am just used to dating tough guys, selfish guys, conceited guys, and jerks, and now MM that I know I can't have. Why do I persue only relationships with guys who I know there is no future with? Now this new one is sweet and would spoil me, and take care of me, but I'm kind of turned off. I don't know what to do. I did think about MM most of the night...which didn't help I'm sure.
Should I see this guy again? The strangest part is he lives 50 miles away...in the SAME TOWN that my MM is moving to. I am so confused. I do want to be with someone, but I am just so used to being treated like dirt and neglected in my R's....is this a problem that needs help?
Edited 10/11/2003 11:15:54 AM ET by fashiongrrls

I have to be honest, when you were mentioning how he was with you on a first date, well the first thing I thought of was "needy". I try to steer away from that. Sure its great but guys like that seem odd to me.
I always chose men that were independent to a fault, didn't appreciate me, and who wasn't willing to work at a relationship, just wanted to have one and once trouble arrived "bye". Then I dated a guy to the other extreme. He brought me flowers, OK cool that was sweet and what a "normal" man should do I suppose. Then all night he told me how beautiful I was, again OK but laying it on a tad thick. Then he took me to the movies, what did we see? Beauty and the Beast, and he cried. Well that ended it right there for me. Sure men have emotions too, but I was extremely uncomfortable afterwards especially when he kept comparing me to being beauty and he the best. Just weird.
Anyways, if you don't feel comfortable with him, don't go there. Trust your instincts. But like I did, you have to learn that you deserve the best treatment. I know I didn't give much insight or help I guess but I have been there and its perfectly normal a lot of women like the bad boys. Eventually I got sick of the crap.
I actually dumped my H when we were 17 because to me he was boring. He liked school, didn't party and worshiped me and back then I thought he was boring or insane. Then one day when we reunited I thought, god I was an idiot.
Sweettendencies
Then I was like, not smiling and just sitting here, and he got all worried asking what was wrong, and was I mad, and did I have fun last night....and can he see me tomorrow, can he? What time? Afternoon good? can he? please?
OMG OMG OMG....if he asks me one more time if I had fun, I'll puke, and if he tells me I'm beautiful, I'm gonna get fat so he'll go away....j/k
What can I tell him?? One other thing that I think is turning me off is that he wears obsession for men, and when I smell it it gives me the heeby-geebies, like something bad associated with that scent happened to me. Is that weird.
How do I tell him I'm not interested? Or should I just ask him to cool it, and try to see if I like him. It's nothing like the connection with my MM, we just hit it off instantly. Does there have to be an instant spark, or can one just be made over time? I hate dating.
I know he'd treat me good, but I can't do mushy gooshy ALL THE TIME!!! I'm just not used to it and it wigs me out.
Any advice??
I don't believe right off the bat there always has to be a SPARK so to speak, but to already feeling uncomfortable well thats not good. To be sitting there on the computer just blah is not a good sign either. Sorry but when you were explaining that I had to chuckle, just to see you sitting there thinking "whatever". :)
I would trust your instincts on this one, if you are uncomfortable now well it will probably only get worse.
With all that has been going on with MM, well you need time to figure things out really, its hard but I know, easier said than done.
Sweettendencies
And as for MM...gawd I miss him, I just wish I could talk to him...it's so hard, but I'm counting the minutes until monday, he's picking me up in the AM...omg I can't wait.