What to do ???

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
What to do ???
4
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 2:06pm

I need help.

My AP is a SM and I am a MW.He is my neighbor, living quite close.Yday we went to a coffee shop ( we often go ) and while we were hugging and kissing goodbye,another woman from my neighborhood saw us! I could see her surprise and cant blame her.It was not a friendly hug or kiss.Anyone could make out that it was an intimate one.I am in love with my AP and he too.
The woman doesnt know my H or anything but I cant put my mind to rest to all the 'what ifs'!! I am freaking out.AP says not to worry but how can I not??
I dont want to lose my AP.He has told one of his close friends about me but no one else knows about us except my sister as well.I cant fathom the thought of losing him.
Help me guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: chick2010
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 3:08pm

You have a right to be worried. One "case" here in town was a woman who would frequent restaurants in her neighborhood with her AP and someone her AP knew saw them - and told her AP's wife, who promptly broke into her H's e-mail, printed them all up and presented them to the woman's husband. One of the "rules" is - no PDAs in public (public displays of affection).

Chances are this person will not approach your H, but the danger is she will gossip about it, and it may reach the ears of someone who thinks your H "has a right to know". Or maybe she herself thinks so. I'm not sure what you can do for damage control at this point! Anything you tell her might make everything sound even more suspicious. I would just lay low and hope she forgets about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
In reply to: chick2010
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 3:58pm
I would lay low too. Start preparing some kind of lie though! Like if he or she confronts you about it, maybe try to pass it off as a really good friend from childhood you ran into. Or your first boyfriend from way back when. Someone who you could pass off being a little closer than normal too. I'm not exactly what you two were doing though, so if you two were necking, it might be a little hard!
But yeah, lie!
Also, like lexi said, going to public places where someone MAY know you or your AP is a bigggg no no! Also PDAs are a def no no! That's what sometimes hurts about As.
Good luck, I really hope it works out for you. In the mean time, I'd cool things down a bit with your AP and lay low until more time has passed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
In reply to: chick2010
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 6:33pm
well It is a little confusing , if Ap is a single man why do you think he will be worried & will stop being with you in any case , so how will you lose him ?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: chick2010
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 7:35pm

Agreed... lay low and have something ready to tell her and your H. I think you could tell her it was a one-time thing, and possibly your H, too. You know your situation; take this time to come up with something believable. But don't approach her - more explanations can raise red flags.

Here's hoping she thought she misinterpreted what she saw...