What to do??
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What to do??
| Tue, 03-23-2004 - 1:50pm |
I feel so lost and confused and I would like some advice. I was away at a work conference last week and drank way too much. Some innocent flirting turned into a lot of touching and feeling. We did not have sex, just a lot of touching. I am so confused on how to handle to situation. I have been happily married for 3-1/2 years and I honestly don't know what triggered this. My husband and I have a wonderful marriage and there is no excuse for my behavior. I feel so guilty and sorry for what I did. I have friends that say I should not even tell my husband. They said they have been in similar situations and would rather not have known. Is this true? I know if I tell my husband, there is a good chance he will leave me. I am not sure that he would be willing to work through it. This is what scares me the most about it. I don't want to hurt him and this would destroy him. It was a one time thing and based on how I feel, I know I will never let this happen again. Please help, any advice would be appreciated.

Even if, at first, he says he understands and want to work it through, there will most likely be reprecussions.
For instance, starting last summer, I was trying to tell my H that I was having feelings toward someone else. Then in November, I decided to come clean, tell him that I had met my MM for coffee on occassion and that I had kissed him, and that I had strong feelings for him. At first my H was very understanding and we talked in depth about my feelings. However, now everytime we have an argument, that situation seems to come up. I have suggested to my H that we go for marriage counselling, but he says he doesn't need it, that he will work it out for himself.
I tend to disagree. I'm sure I'll be hearing about it until the cows come home. LOL
Well, it's really not funny, since I'm still involved and still in love with my MM, and now I'm at a crossroads.
So, I guess my advice is just leave well enough alone. You are obviously remorseful for your actions, and if you have no intentions of doing it again - you'll get over it! It's just one of life's little secrets - we all have them. Alcohol will do strange things to us at times. Don't fret or beat yourself up over it - you're human!
My thoughts and prayers are with you
Red
I think the fact that you feel so guilty about it is a clear indication that to you it was a mistake, and it won't happen again. Telling your husband will only hurt him. Since you know it was a mistake let it go.
It would mean trouble if you weren't feeling so bad about it. Relax. Forget about it.