What to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
What to do?
1
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 11:16am
I've been having an A for about 9 months now, and I truly fell in love with OM. I am married, have been for 5 years. I love my H, but not in the way that I want to spend my life with him. We have 2 small children. My OM is in love with me as well. We talk about being together all the time, and he has had alot of patience. It's so hard to leave my H, because of the kids, but I can't stand to be with him. I want to be with OM. I don't want to hurt the kids in the process. Any suggestions? I've tried marriage counseling, but H won't go. He thinks everything should be swept under the carpet. He doens't know about the A.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2003
In reply to: isabana
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 3:12pm
Isabana,

There is no way *not* to hurt your kids if you break up your marriage. Maybe you should tell your husband about the affair; this may jolt him out of his 'sweep it all under the rug' mode. In the long run, it might save your marriage because he may want to work harder in the relationship to win you back. I'm not sure whether you would want that or not - you seem to contradict yourself when you say 'I love my husband' but then say 'I can't stand to be with him'. Maybe you would want him if he changed and became more attentive. You might be surprised at how he reacts to finding out about the affair - you might find out that he cares about you much, much more than you realize. Just food for thought.