What to do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
What to do??
6
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 6:40pm

I havent been here for awhile,


I am M but my husband and I had separated, he left our home today.


He actually moved in

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2008
In reply to: grams41
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 7:14pm

My first thought is: why is he dating someone else? Just so the public doesn't think you left your H for him? Seems to me that just lying low would do the same thing.


I understand where he is at with the one year thing. My MM wanted to wait that long after my H died before we started to be seen in public, but it only lasted a month, maybe two. Now, we are out all the time. His brother's secretary made a comment the other day about knowing what he does on his lunch times,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
In reply to: grams41
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 9:07pm

I do not see you as unreasonable at all!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2008
In reply to: grams41
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 9:43pm
I've been separated for two months and since it happened my AP pushed back
FrustratedinOC
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
In reply to: grams41
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 3:16am

I really don't want to hurt your feelings, or anything, but you came here seeking advice, so I am going to give you mine.

I think that your AP is full of crap. Where do you live, in Mayberry 1965? I think that he is using your recent seperation as an excuse to date other women. So what if someone puts 2 and 2 together, your H is doing the same thing. I would NEVER let what my neighbor thinks effect ANY decision I make about my life. It's hard enough to make sure that the decisions I make are best for my family, forget worrying about a bunch of people who live outside my house. My view has always been "If you aren't helping w/ the rent, then you have no say in what goes on in the house that I AM paying rent for."

I think that maybe your boyfriend is stepping out on you right in front of your face. He is taking advantage of your separation. What would he say if you told him to stop seeing other woman? That's the test right there. If he stops right away, then he had your Rs best interest at heart, but if he argues w/ you, and defends his actions, well that speaks for itself.

I really hope that things get better for you. You are going through a lot right now, and you don't need a man in your life that doesn't have your best interest at heart. Separation from your SO can be an empowering things, but it is also going to be a long difficult road. I wish you the very best.

Justice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
In reply to: grams41
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 5:32am
Hey grams 41....I feel bad for you sis. But, these girls are not all seeing the same thing for no reason. This whole situation makes no sense. He should be thrilled you are finally free and can see you now without feeling guilty. People separate for gobs of reasons. So what if people see you having lunch or walking down the street. This is so dumb. If it's meant to be it will.....yes but seeing someone else and making himself OFF LIMITS to you during her time with him is not moving things in the right direction. You are free now....dont' repeat mistakes and don't fantasize about how great this is all going to turn out. Be strong and true to yourself. HUGS!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2008
In reply to: grams41
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 9:55am

Thankyou to all of you who responded.