What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
What do I do?
Sat, 03-27-2004 - 5:41pm
I am also posting on the ending an affair board but since it is not yet ended I thought I would get everyones input.

I have been in my A for about a year now. We have cut down on our visits significantly as his W has found out about the A. We were talking everyday and seeing each other at least 4 times a week. My H is a great guy but I just don't have the feelings for him that I have for the MM. Are my expectations too high? Can I have a real relationship with the feelings I have for the MM? I am considering leaving my H. The MM has told me that he will be leaving his W in the next year when they get moved. I have a hard time believing that he will leave her. I am also comfortable with my H. He is the most adoring man I could ask for. I just consider him my best friend and have a hard time looking at him in any other way. I am not in love with him. One of my questions is do all relationships turn into this. I have been with my H for 12 years. He says he still feels the same way for me and is very much in love with me. I however have not felt that way for a long time. Honestly I don't know that I have ever felt that way for him. I am considering ending the A because it is getting too hard for me. Although the little time we spend with each other makes me VERY happy. The time in between is heart breaking. I never thought I could feel this way for anyone. Is this just how it is with an A? I don't know what to do. Any input would be greatly appreciated. I think I need to end it and although we keep saying it's over we still manage to meet and say okay...this is the last time. It seems like we cannot stop seeing each other. We both admit that we are very depressed without each other in our lives. I just don't know what to do. Thanks in advance.