what to do when MM divorces

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
what to do when MM divorces
2
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 9:59pm
It seems like things are moving very quickly and I am just trying to understand what is going on. MM seems to be moving very close to divorce. They have talked about it and the relationship is basically shot. He is afraid she wants to "take him to the cleaners"- she hired the "best" D lawyer in town. He wants things to be fair and he wants to continue his relationship with his kids. He is a great dad. He was scared to death about our emails and phone calls... so a number of questions: 1) do you have to worry about emails if you delete them? 2) how do you stay a supportive friend when you think he should get out of a very unhealthy relationship on both sides 3) how do you readjust when he is now free and you are still M??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 11:15pm
HI Tb

E-mail and all information that has been on a computer hard drive can be recoverd in all most a cases if the professional doing it has the right software (I work in the field).

I think if you want to help him your going to have to get off the radar or the lawyers investigators are going to find out about you (if he/she is really good they have PIs that dig for dirt)

As to you last question I think arm yourself with honest facts to help you deal realisticly with the situation

sweet69 posted these web sites some time ago but they are worth checking out, the last one is a bit scary

Extramarital Affairs: http://www.wordscapes.net/extramarital-affairs.htm

Types of Affairs: http://www.wordscapes.net/types-of-affairs.htm

Love Affairs

In Love Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/inlove-affairs.htm

Loving Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/loving-affairs.htm

Bridge Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/bridge-affairs.htm

Hate Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/hate-affairs.htm

Sex Affairs

Sensual Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/sensual-affairs.htm

Sexual Adventure Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/sexual-adv-affairs.htm

Sexual Conquest Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/sex-conquest-affairs.htm

Reasons Men Have Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/men-affairs.htm

Reasons Women Have Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/women-affair.htm

Facts on Affairs http://www.wordscapes.net/affairs-facts.htm

GOOD LUCK

FREE

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 3:25pm
FREE

Thanks, MM never downloaded his email to his hard drive. He had it on an internet site and deleted it from there. We have been friends for over 20 years so there has always been lots of communication between us.

I am hoping it will be an amicable D. He is truly my best friend and it is so hard to see him go through this and be unbiased. Mostly I just try to be there and listen. It is a LDA so we are not together on any regular basis. I know that phone records can be gotten, and I am not sure if I will be dragged into this or not. I definitely want to end up with MM but am not quite in the same place as he is. I know he would wait forever for me-- but it does scare me if our relationshop becomes public and then I have to deal with things sooner than I would want.

Logically I know it is better to distance myself from him at this point, but it sure is hard- as this is when he needs me the most in a sense. Thanks for the advice and support! tb