What do you make of this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
What do you make of this?
2
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 6:02pm
Okay - so earlier I posted that I tend to overthink and worry too much after I'm with MM. I'll start off by saying...I'm thinking way to much today. But, wanted some honest feedback as I'm feeling on that down roller coaster of emotions.

Lately, I'd say at least the past month - things with MM have been awesome. Lots of contact, very intense, great convo etc. Saw him the other night and yesterday and we had great, great S**!! Talked to him twice today and first he commented that he needs to be careful to take care of "Momma" too because she's mentioned in the past that they don't "do it as often" then, recently he bought a new toy and I asked if I got to go with him...he said.."yeah, eventually..she's really excited about it" hum, I understand the family thing, totally. Then, this afternoon we talked about going on a joint business trip and he mentioned that he probably wouldn't go because "his bride" (he's never called her that before) might want to go and it would be uncomfortable - is this just sheer honesty?

I'm looking for some honest feedback - we've been involved for a year - do you think he's rethinking things or am I just overreacting. Just seems like things were great yesterday, then today...seemed a bit distant from me???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 7:53pm
I think you are becoming more aware of his W's actual presense within your

EMA -

It's hard to be a realist in these situations but you do know he has a W - so you just either have to suck it up and handle it as hard as it may be - or you need to ask him to not discuss his W or plans he has with his W with you - the later seems to be a bad situation because once he stops opening up to you about his W he will stop opening up to you about his life and the other things that are important to him (you).

It is hard to have to listen to the details of what you are missing out on - but I am

sure the shoes goes on both feet when you are telling him details of your life that he

is also missing out on - (you do not mention if you are M as well or not)

He seems to enjoy spending a great deal of time with you and seems very open with you

so I think you need to just try not to let him realize you are so sensitive to his

bringing his W into the conversation, even if you are sensitive to it - he may be picking up on your envy or jealousy and rethinking how he goes about discussing things with you

but the reality of it is she is always going to be there in some way shape or form as long as he remains married to her or she remains married to him

I hope this helps a little

Kikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 8:06pm
Thanks Kikki - and yes, I am married. He's always been very open about his home life, probalby more so than I am. I just live in this constant fear that the other shoe is going to drop and he'll end it. Funny, I have a H who adores me (although I lost those feelings for him long ago) a great career, two great kids, big house...and about the one thing that really makes me happy is MM.

I am very, very insecure about our R, but fear telling him this will make him run in the other direction, but, maybe I should - if he goes, than it wasn't worth it.