What do you make of this??
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What do you make of this??
| Mon, 02-16-2004 - 6:56pm |
Okay, maybe it is just PMS talking but here goes....
Celebrated V-Day with MM last Thursday. Did mention in passing that my kids were at their Dad's for the weekend. I did NOT stress the subject, because I did not want to hear him say he had plans with the W, and I did not want to hear him say "I might be able to stop by", because too many disappointments have come from that, and I couldn't handle being disappointed on V-Day. I did get a nice card, and cute little present.
Anywho, he comes into my office this morning and asked how the weekend was? I said, Okay, I painted blah blah blah....and he says (in a surprised voice)..."Oh the kids were gone??!! I was home doing nothing!! Why didn't you say anything??"
I am completely torn on this. He KNEW the kids were gone, didn't he?? But yet, nice to hear he wasn't out wooing the W, like I figured he was. I've been stewing all day over him not showing up when he could have!!! It was Valentine's Day. Could he have honestly forgotten my saying the kids were gone??
I am honestly P-oed about this. But I can't quite figure out why! Maybe it's the fact that we haven't spent more than 20 minutes alone since October!!!!!
GRRRRRRR....why are men, married or not, so dang exasperating!!
Celebrated V-Day with MM last Thursday. Did mention in passing that my kids were at their Dad's for the weekend. I did NOT stress the subject, because I did not want to hear him say he had plans with the W, and I did not want to hear him say "I might be able to stop by", because too many disappointments have come from that, and I couldn't handle being disappointed on V-Day. I did get a nice card, and cute little present.
Anywho, he comes into my office this morning and asked how the weekend was? I said, Okay, I painted blah blah blah....and he says (in a surprised voice)..."Oh the kids were gone??!! I was home doing nothing!! Why didn't you say anything??"
I am completely torn on this. He KNEW the kids were gone, didn't he?? But yet, nice to hear he wasn't out wooing the W, like I figured he was. I've been stewing all day over him not showing up when he could have!!! It was Valentine's Day. Could he have honestly forgotten my saying the kids were gone??
I am honestly P-oed about this. But I can't quite figure out why! Maybe it's the fact that we haven't spent more than 20 minutes alone since October!!!!!
GRRRRRRR....why are men, married or not, so dang exasperating!!
Just Venting!
CFH

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i learned a long time ago my MM has no memory!! Well, for dates, but that's IT. i told him a hundred times i was off of work today. OK, literally, i told him 5 times. So he stops in, surprised my daughter was home. DUH. LOL!! So we visited and had a tickle session but no sex LOL. Point being, i don't know if it's cuz he's 14 years older than me, because he has a penis, or because i have a tendency to remember every little word we excahnge, but my MM just does not remember things. i try to find nice ways to repeat my self without sounding nagging LOL. i also figure, the guy is basically living two lives, you can only remember so much LOL!!!
In my case it's not such a big deal, a memory slip here and there. We don't hide cuz W knows all about us and we live and work 2 minutes away (literally) from each other and see each other alot.
If it bothers you, i guess you have to speak up, but, i know my MM honestly just forgets alot of the time. i say give him a break, that's my vote.
good luck :)
jen
I've reading your posts. You're lucky to be living so close to your MM and can see each other often. I used to get upset if my MM forgot something I mentioned but then decide that men are forgetful and I don't read too much into it.
You said that both of you don't have to hide since his W knows about it. Did she cause any problems ? no divorce ? how do get so lucky ?
Hi CFH,
I have to say... it's a man thing! my DH is absolutely hopeless... and while MM is certainly better... he's not perfect.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
yeah, i guess i am lucky it lots of ways. We see each other alot and it was all just coincidence that we live and work down the street from each other.
Oh, she was on to us pretty quickly. The guy had no life and was a total homebody. They were going through rough times and he didn't exactly kill himself to hide me. She said are you having an affair, he said yup. Oh, she was quite upset at first, there was talk of seperation, but neither one of them really wants to leave. Once she figured she may lose him, she made alot of things better, and while he isn't happy to death, he's not unhappy enough to leave, and she isn't willing to leave or throw him out or anything over the A. They have been married a long time (going on 21 years). She's willing to basically turn the other way. He loves both of us, and wants to have us both. i am recently seperated, he's willing to see me through the divorce and dating ahead, he just doesn't think he can leave, and i totally understand. i am not dating now but i sure will someday, and i plan on having him in my life for a long time. Honestly, they don't even hardly fight about me, she gets her one liners in, he lies alot to keep the peace, basically they just don't talk about it. Don't ask me, i don't understand it completely either, but i guess i kinda do. i love him enough to be wtih him "part time".... obviously, so does she.
Sorry so long
jen
You are SO happy in your titillating and glorious marriage of six years that are you up one am posting slighlty judgemental posts to a "my affair support" board about how *glad* you are that you passed up your affair six years ago and how we are all being "played".
Yup, i suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure am jealous of you.
jen
I have no illusions that he is NOT having sex with the W. But we do not talk about it. I know it's not often. He does not trash his W to me. Does not go on about how bad it is, or good. I know him like I know myself. I know when it's going better or worse for him at home. Just by how he acts with me. He doesn't talk about it, nor do I. Both for our own reasons.
I know I am not being used. He has made no promises of any future. There's the dreams of course. Of what it could be like. But I am in this with my eyes WIDE open. And am free to walk away at any time.
As for why when the kids are not home? DUH. Because, regardless of anything, I am a good Mom, and would never introduce anyone...ANYONE single or married into their lives unless they were going to be around for a good long time.
Thanks to all of you who responded. I know how forgetful that man is. And because I didn't mention it again, he didn't know for sure. His fault, my fault, whatever. It comes down to the biggest thing I've learned in this A. And that is, things usually turn out for the best, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time!
He made up for it today by the way. ;)
Thanks again!
CFH
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