Your story reminds me of where I could end up, my S AP is dating a girl as well. How in the world could I ask him not to, I am M! He tells me he'd leave her in a second if I was available but until then he has to look for his happily ever after. I know they have s*x and worry about her getting PG and of course am crazy with jealousy! But that's my issue not his.
Do you know if he likes this girl? Are you and your H considering a D? Or are there other reasons you might leave your M and ask this S guy to wait for you? If this guy has no long term real life future with you, not sure that this is something that there is any good advice to give from you or something you can hold against him. This is something that him and that other girl needs to figure out.
I'm sorry you feel played, but it might not have been like that. I know my AP loves me more than his single girlfriend but he cannot have me, at least now he cannot. So what's a single guy to do but move on in his real life. I've been with AP 4 months but he only recently (about 1-1/2 months ago) started dating someone exclusively in his real life (we call our relationship "fantasy life"). I'm just glad that I still have him as part of my life, I don't want to loose that and have never suggested that he shouldn't date. I don't know where my future lies, but I'm certain that I'm not leaving my M for an AP, but I do have other issues with my M that I am slowly working through.
PS. Yes, I am extremely jealous of the girlfriend. I hate that she spends the night with him all the time, that he touches her, that he tells her he loves her, that she can talk to him whenever she wants and I have to sneak, that she can put posts on his myspace page and I cannot, that I live towns away and see him every 3 months and that she see's him several times a week. I cannot stand any of that but keep it almost all to myself because there is one thing I know for sure is that HE LOVES ME MORE and it drives him crazy that he cannot be with ME! I don't doubt that for a second and we have a great relationship that when the time comes that that changes, he will tell me.
I'm not much help but know where you are coming from having an A with a S man... It brings it's own set of complications! My AP is also 6 years younger than me! Just know that he might not of played you, but he probably struggles with how to think about a future for himself. I can't imagine being single and in love with a married man! Try looking at it from his perspective.
You sound just like me! Our stories are so identical, except I'm missing the PG part and my OM is what I call a Long Distant Relationship.
This statement could have come from my mouth too! "The sad thing is that I have a devoted husband that worships the ground I walk on. I don't know whats wrong with me. Why have I fallen for this OM?
I do not want a divorce. I don't know what I want. the OM just makes me feel really good about myself."
If I read your post correctly..You are M and he is S?
I can understand a little bit about being hurt, but devastated?
Yikes... no fun (((((HUGS))))))
Your story reminds me of where I could end up, my S AP is dating a girl as well. How in the world could I ask him not to, I am M! He tells me he'd leave her in a second if I was available but until then he has to look for his happily ever after. I know they have s*x and worry about her getting PG and of course am crazy with jealousy! But that's my issue not his.
Do you know if he likes this girl? Are you and your H considering a D? Or are there other reasons you might leave your M and ask this S guy to wait for you? If this guy has no long term real life future with you, not sure that this is something that there is any good advice to give from you or something you can hold against him. This is something that him and that other girl needs to figure out.
I'm sorry you feel played, but it might not have been like that. I know my AP loves me more than his single girlfriend but he cannot have me, at least now he cannot. So what's a single guy to do but move on in his real life. I've been with AP 4 months but he only recently (about 1-1/2 months ago) started dating someone exclusively in his real life (we call our relationship "fantasy life"). I'm just glad that I still have him as part of my life, I don't want to loose that and have never suggested that he shouldn't date. I don't know where my future lies, but I'm certain that I'm not leaving my M for an AP, but I do have other issues with my M that I am slowly working through.
PS. Yes, I am extremely jealous of the girlfriend. I hate that she spends the night with him all the time, that he touches her, that he tells her he loves her, that she can talk to him whenever she wants and I have to sneak, that she can put posts on his myspace page and I cannot, that I live towns away and see him every 3 months and that she see's him several times a week. I cannot stand any of that but keep it almost all to myself because there is one thing I know for sure is that HE LOVES ME MORE and it drives him crazy that he cannot be with ME! I don't doubt that for a second and we have a great relationship that when the time comes that that changes, he will tell me.
I'm not much help but know where you are coming from having an A with a S man... It brings it's own set of complications! My AP is also 6 years younger than me! Just know that he might not of played you, but he probably struggles with how to think about a future for himself. I can't imagine being single and in love with a married man! Try looking at it from his perspective.
Hi,
Thanks for the response.
You sound just like me! Our stories are so identical, except I'm missing the PG part and my OM is what I call a Long Distant Relationship.
This statement could have come from my mouth too!
"The sad thing is that I have a devoted husband that worships the ground I walk on. I don't know whats wrong with me. Why have I fallen for this OM?
I do not want a divorce. I don't know what I want. the OM just makes me feel really good about myself."
Tell me about your situation.