what do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
what do you think?
6
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 10:30am
okay, I know I may be beating a dead horse here but bare with me... My good d friend, who

is also involved in an A but with SG and she is the M one ( i tried to talk her out of it) but you know the rest........Anyway... she thinks he is not able to be without me that he wishes he COULD end it but can't and not calling is his way of dealing with that...

she says he loves me and can't stay away from me so he avoids the issue with the frequent NC

periods of late.......... am I grasping at straws???

He told me recently that he missed me.

deb
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 5:23pm
I really need to know. am I just kidding myself in a major way??

I am trying to be strong but I am stressed with my child and am feeling

on the verge of a meltdown, I never expected him to play me like this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 6:04pm
msdeb:

my MM used to tell me that he thought of me a million times a day, send me emails that he missed me but yet here I am wondering what hes thinking when I know that it must be over between us....what I'm saying is that one day it could be heaven, the next hell....my situation is different from yours but I've learned that when they say something it only applies to that moment not a day later...my MM (now XMM) used to tell me that no matter what happened we would end it in a nice way and atleast support each other no matter what the circumstances....now here I am, still wanting him, yet all we've done is argue.....and it feels like there's been no closure....good luck,,but live for the moment and enjoy what he says and does in that moment as another may not come along....men are stranger but our hearts can be even stranger 'cause they let us feel this way....if you need to chat you can email me at pumpkin_pie79@hotmail.com.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 10:38am
Hi msdeb,

Have to agree w/ xterra. I've been in and out of this ema for 1-1/2 years and i've finally resigned myself to not let it bother me, the ups and downs. I refuse to go there (at least try to). We're more friends than anything and we say we love eachother 'as friends'. Like xterra said, what they say is only what they feel for the moment. We tend to savor each word like gold when they tell us they miss us, etc. when we really should let it go in one ear and out the other, and let their actions speak for themselves. Hah! easier said than done. Bottom line: When you treat men like crap and like you could take 'em or leave 'em (and really mean it in your heart of hearts) there they are, in the palm of your hand. Move on, stay busy, and try to preoccupy yourself w/ other thoughts, more constructive and positive. It's hard and takes a lot of time and effort, but it pays off, believe me, btdt.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 11:54am
I know you are right.. but also know that leaves me looking at like

4 weeks of NC or more.. but ya know if he doesn't want me in his life, I don't

want to be there. I went out Saturday night saying ---- eat your heart out.

I looked hot!!! Had a date and it went great!!!!!

keep me in your thoughts and prayers as time goes on it is harder for me not call

but I am determined to give him the F/U attitude of my younger years. Where is that girl???

I'll find her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 1:59pm
Deb, are you single? If so, enjoy life. Get out there and kick up your heels, girl! Don't let yourself get hung up behind one man. Don't know your story, but is he MM or OM? I'm MW w/ MM. I love my DH but it's the same story you see here over and over, picture perfect on the outside, passionless on the inside. I need passion in my life. Actually, my friendship w/ MM helps me cope w/ my M. Sounds retarded but it does. My libido is up, I'm happier, my heart races for a change, and I have a skip in my step. I love DH but I love MM too, in a different kinda way. MM is my best friend. DH is my husband. I wish he would be my best friend but I've tried and it don't work. When I tell him how I feel he uses it against me later, so our R is more of a formal how's the weather kind of R. Boring.

Sorry for rambling, but venture out a bit and find that young girl and let her surface again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 8:45pm


Hey there luv,

Well, I 'm separated now for 2yrs was MW with MY MM now I am separated like I said

but still with my MM... i had a sexless, passionless marriage and I couldn't live like that anymore so I left him. He liked to drink more than a bit also.

It is harder now that I am the single one involved with the MM as much as he is my freind

and we've known each other forever... he plays me too well... and I m about ready say

see ya and go f yourself for hurting me with all these NC games and the other part of me

is missing him badly at the sound of every sappy country song I hear.

It sucks, It really does... no matter how you look at it.

He and I both also have 2 children each which, of course over the years has

made things tougher for us to see each other.

He last said to me I can fix anything but I can't fix this.He could if he wasn't an

emotional coward that is.

Thanks for responding... I appreciate it so much.

Deb

anymore