what do you think............

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
what do you think............
12
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 10:48am
.....about this situation ? I, from what I can see, have been in (or maybe it is one sided) an emotional affair with a co-worker. I have worked w/ MM for 5 years and from the get go he always flirted with me. In fact he flirts w/ everyone. He is a really nice guy and over the years we have grown close. I talk about my relationship w/ my H w/ him and he every now and then mentions his W and their M. We have never discussed (other than joking) taking things further than what they are now and I am becoming impatient. All I want is for this man to take me in his arms and hold me or kiss me or anything. I am not sure he wants the same thing and I am afraid to make a move that would suggest my feelings. I am in fear that I would lose the frienship and closeness we have together, but I am having a hard time thinking of anything else but to just reach out to him. Especially when he walks in my office and tells me how good I look (in whatever I have on that day) or walks up behind me and tells me I smell so good. And then he has these incredible sexy eyes and gives me these looks like he could take me right there and it's all I can do to not give him what I think he wants. See how confused I am? Am I just nieve or imagining things ? Has anyone else had this to happen ?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 1:06pm
BUMP.....HELP PLEASE
Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 1:26pm
Well, I can only speak for myself. If I were in that situation, I would tell him to stop his teasing and poop are get off the pot. In other words Give it UP!!!! I hate playing games and it sounds like he is. Maybe boosting his own ego a little!!! NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2002
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 1:32pm
Been there, and it was always a disaster. My personal experience with men who flirt a lot with everyone and send smoldering looks at you are generally interested in puffing up their egos with conquests, not in having a meaningful relationship with any particular woman. Sorry, but this is my experience. Yes, it is flattering to be the current object of desire, but my own, personal experience is that these are not the men worth risking your marriage for because they are not interested in *your* best interest.

Flirting is not an affair, though it is probably not something your husband would like to witness. Doing anything beyond that - *that* is an affair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 1:35pm
yeah blue - i would do the same as nomo says, tell him to cut it out unless he's serious! it's too confusing to you and you should tell him that. be direct but not overwhelming. don't tell him you want to f**k him for goodness sake, but do let him know he's sending huge mixed messages to you! take control girl!!

gurl

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 1:43pm
OH come on Gurl. Why not tell him that:(:( LOL, just kidding! NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 1:53pm
okay, nomo, blue can ask him, but "be careful what you wish for, you just may get it"! and suppose he IS JUST A FLIRT! she's up a creek, without the proverbial paddle.


so -- no, no, no, never ask for it! make 'em beg, that's all i'm gonna say.....


gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 2:00pm
Thanks for the advice and thoughts. I think that he flirts with everyone to cover up the flirting with me. I am in no way being arrogant but if you knew what the other 4 ladies I work with are like you would know this.

Anyway, I have to do something or he HAS to do something. I mean yeah, it's great to have something to look forward to at work, but this is consuming all of my thoughts. I am CONSTANTLY scrutinizing his every move and mine and it's got to either stop or move forward. Our x-mas party is coming up in a month and being drunk on top of all this won't help will it ? I'll keep you posted.

Thanks, you all are great ! I feel "less consumed" now.

Blue

Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 2:01pm
Gurl, you crack me up! ROFLMAO........ Second thought I say don't ask DEMAND!!!! That will be the real test to see if he is for real for just inflating his own ego. My guess would be that later of the two:) NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 2:05pm
I'M ROFLMAO TOO!!! AND I'M WITH YOU NOMO ON THE LATTER OF THOSE TWO CHOICES!!

blue, no matter what those other women look like, if he's flirty with all of you, he's stroking his own ego.

and again, you need to sit him down and tell him he's sending those mixed signals and you don't know what to think. let him explain himself!!

but be careful, 'cause that's your job and i know you need the money, honey!!

gurl

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-12-2003 - 2:10pm
You keep that control over your emotions and you will be fine. Be careful with the booze and the Christmas party. We are all guilty of letting them brew and then exploding while drunk! Good Luck! NMR

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