What do you think about this......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
What do you think about this......
24
Fri, 09-19-2003 - 10:37am
Okay so I was with HIM the other night and we were having sex and then his GF called in the middle of it. But actually when she called, he was not IN me. But when she was talking to him for the short time this call went on, he was just kind of like uh huh, etc. cuz we were kind of ya know, busy? All of a sudden then, he whispered to me, to put it in. I'm like what? Um okay so I went about it and there we were ya know, doing it. Well she was going on talking about her class she was coming out of and she asked him what he was up to/doing etc. and he's said, "oh i'm hanging out w/ Tammy. We're going to go here and there or whatever" he said." It was like once SHE heard MY name she goes, "Oh (like a greaaat kind of thing)." And I could hear this whole conversation. I'm thinking to myself at the time, OMG this is crazy lol.

So at the end of the night, i said to him that he was bad for doing that (being saracstic) and he's like well we were inthe position, might as well have fun w/it right?

I'm like uhh yea.

So question is.......has anyone been in that situation in your A or do you have any comments? I think it's crazy. It may offend some of you , and i apologize in advance.

Thx

Tammy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 4:15pm
Yeah, wish my name were as pretty as Lilah! I had actually picked that name out for a daughter someday, but there's no way I'll be using it for that now. "Lilah" will probably always be tainted because it'll remind me of my darker side. Maybe that'll make it easier to cut her off someday, since I've named her. I'll just bury Lilah and write up an obituary. "Here lays Lilah, the woman who almost messed up my happy life!"

At first MM made me feel that way too. Desirable, sexy, LOVED. But then one day he got mad that I was flirting with this other cute guy in the office and pushed me way far away. It spiraled me into this depression, where I felt completely horrible about myself and how much I'd shown and said to this guy. But then he pulled me back in the next day with his kind words and soon I was wrapped up in him again. Amazing, once the "anasthesia" wears off, how clearly I see things! This is kind of like that movie "9-1/2 Weeks," where Mickey Rourke gets Kim Basinger to do all these degrading things and then one day she wakes up and realizes how much of her dignity has been lost to this guy. Maybe I should go back and watch that movie. I can't recall how she did dig her way back out of it.

It could be that I am feeding his ego. Yes, he did lose the same amount of weight I did, around the same time. If it is ego, how sad. Does he not realize that it took a full two weeks of him telling me how BEAUTIFUL I was for me to even say for the first time that I found him attractive? I remember when it began, trying to imagine myself making love to him, and I couldn't. But I kept feeding myself that image and soon enough, I was believing that I WANTED him. How crazy is that? I allowed myself to be talked into an emotional affair! The thing about my best friend is, as little as she knows about this, I get a lot of valuable feedback from her because she knows him. She told me that she saw this coming MONTHS before it actually started, but she won't say why. I think she saw me looking like I now look and him being such a horn-dog and she figured it was only a matter of time before he set his sights on me. She tells me she absolutely does not see us fitting together as a couple -- he's a "racetrack" kind of guy, she says, and I'm more of a city, frou-frou girl. (In other words, him: redneck, me: spoiled brat!) I told her I thought this whole experience was meant to teach me something about my life and she said she thinks it's just the devil tempting me and I need to resist. So I tried to take it back to friendship, but last week he lured me back in because he was having problems with his wife. Apparently those problems are past because he's back into this "strong" crap again. But strong or not, I don't jerk him back and forth by being one way one day and another the next. It's unfair to me to just be nice to me when his wife is being mean to him. What does that make me? His substitute woman? I know I'm answering my own questions here, but this really is helping me. At this point, I'm actually not even sure I care if he comes to see me before we go home for the day. I'm starting to think it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2002
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 4:28pm
If I may make a suggestion. . .

If you're making a habit out of flirting with men to get their attention, maybe you should talk to someone qualified to help. Showing & telling is not an appropriate way for a grown woman to gain approval, especially at work, but really anywhere. It's asking to be appreciated only in one way, and you as a person are worth a lot more than that.

As for the devil - yes, I believe he exists. But one way we resist him is by knowing how valuable we are in God's eyes, and never devaluing ourselves. And if a little therapy is going to help you realize what God already knows and loves about you, then that can be a lot more valuable than praying for strength to resist the devil.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 8:03pm
Oh, gosh its gross! I can't think of continuing a relationship with somebody that treats his g/f so disrespectfully. Its bad enough you are in an ema and he is cheating on his g/f but to act so crassly is the pits....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 1:01pm
Um hello dear but you are in an Affair Supports Board lol. But yea it is icky isnt it! lol believe me girl i do not have any respect for this guy. And you are all probably like, but you seemed like it before.....yea BEFORE = key word. Its been a little bit since this situation has started and i have learned a lot about him in a short amount of time. I mean obviously from the very biginning its know that this guy is a:

pig

cold hearted

has no conscience

and can go to hell for all i care lol

the sex is great w/ him but i really dont think its all that worth it.

plus i found a new SINGLE guy and he's even better in bed lol i know youre prob thinking what a slut lol but hey he's single right ;) - - i'm being silly about this - pls dont take it to heart ;p

i havent seen the guy w/ the GF in a few days. he hasnt called like he usually does so maybe its over for good. i dont really want to talk/see him anyway. it'll keep me out of trouble haha.

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