What do YOU think this board needs?
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| Fri, 04-03-2009 - 6:56pm |
Part of the reason I wanted to return as cl of this board is because I started worrying that this place that meant so much to me was in danger of slipping away. I am not the only one. Some of my closest friends (the ones I made here, BTW) had the same feelings.
It is pretty obvious that there a lot of you out there still lurking, just given what I have seen in the last two days. Lots of posters turned lurkers popping up to say, "yep, still here!" I am sure you all remember what this place meant for you and how much help and comfort you got from being here. I don't want to have a discussion about what support means, we have done that. I want to know why some very knowledgeable people no longer want to give their support or share their experiences. I know, from being a cl before, it does get hard to see the same train wreck over and over again, but then I remember: I was once the train wreck. All of us who post here were. (Sorry to so blatantly steal from you, Mrs. but you said that well).
So, regardless of what your brand of support is (for those curious, mine is straight to the point with a very low tolerance for b*ll s**t), I think we all have something to offer. Especially for that new person who comes in, scared, confused and needing the shoulder of people in the same situation as well as those of us who have already ridden the roller coaster a few times.
While there are a lot of lurkers out there who used to post regularly, I also know there are a lot of lurkers who have, for one reason or another, not felt comfortable posting their own stories. I hope that someday you will feel comfortable enough to post (I still remember how nervous I was when I hit "post message" for the first time).
So, help me out. Give me suggestions for breathing some life back into an old friend. Differing opinions and all. After all, the differences in us all have always been what made this place so great.

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Happy Monday All~
I posted this question on Friday and let it sit all weekend. I read the responses, and was so tempted to respond to some of them, but promised myself I would not until after the weekend.
On the logistics, I tend to agree with Mrs. in that the folders need some tweaking. I will likely revisit this after I have been back and am more settled here but that will be a separate post. So that I can take the information to the powers that be with suggestions. I don't feel comfortable doing that in my first week back, however.
Then there is my question about what kind of place we want this to be. I knew the response would be varied. The common theme though is that people want to feel safe in posting. That is true for all of us. It is true for those of us (like myself) who will give advice all the time and for those of us who want comforting pats. That said, I don't think this board would be what it is if it was all about comforting pats and there theres. And frankly, I am not good at leaving anything at a pat pat level. There are others who are though and as I touched on in my original post, that is what makes MAS what it is.
I don't think anyone here will ever say "yes, affairs are excellent and I think everyone should have one." It doesn't stop people from going down that road. I have always felt that if someone asks in their post, and they are either new or considering their affair, that HAVE to encourage them to think twice. My saying that and offering that up is in no way meant to bash or harm the poster. It is me answering the posed question. What should I do? You should consider that the path you are on is NOT at all as glamorous or exciting or as happy or as as it seems.
I know from personal experience that I would often spend a long time writing a response to someone I thought needed help and support only to be blasted for being harsh. It DOES make it difficult to continue posting. Same as it makes it difficult for someone who is new or hurting to continue reading and posting.
So how do we get around this? I don't have the answer and it is the age old question. We could all sing Kumbaya, or we could all try to remember that despite where we are now, despite the type of answer we give, despite the fact that someone is new to the board and someone else has been here for years, we all do have that one thing in common. That thing that brought us here. And that this is one of the few places that we all come because we can be anonymous and talk about our biggest most stressful secret.
I guess my point is, I don't have all the answers. What I would like (in an ideal world) is that instead of sniping at each other that we remember that none of us (save for trolls, and I will address that) have bad intentions. Some posters are blunt and to the point, others are soft and gentle and others are somewhere in the middle. As has been said before, but bears repeating, this is a public message board. There is some beauty to that in that a variety of input is given, which of course means that the original poster can (and should) take away that which is useful. Leave the rest for someone else (a lurker maybe) to pick up.
Now ofcourse, the down side to a public setting is that it is open to anyone. This means that very often (especially of late), there are posters who do not care about the TOS they just want to post to tell us all that affairs are bad and we are going to h*ll. So when you see those? There is that RAV button at the bottom of the message...Report and ignore.
So nothing new, but maybe still helpful. I do still want to visit logistics, but think I need to re-assimilate to my role as cl before we tackle that.
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