What do you, wise women out there, think
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What do you, wise women out there, think
| Tue, 12-02-2003 - 11:46am |
Edited
Edited 4/26/2004 2:16 pm ET ET by boston53
Edited 4/26/2004 2:16 pm ET ET by boston53

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just my point of view.
honey
seriously boston, i am only trying to help. but take all (and any!) advice with a grain of salt -- pick out what you need and trash the rest.
and thanks for the flowers! what color are they??
gurl
Edited 2/17/2004 3:30:50 PM ET by gurlfriend50
I, for one, know exactly what boston means when he says OW is his whole life. I'm sure many of you have had those same feelings at one time or another, you just don't realize it. I challenge anyone to tell me that they have never had that desperate feeling, that "blissful when together", and "sick when apart" feeling. I would step in front of a bullet for OM, and he would do the same for me. Haven't you ever felt that before? Knowing that he has those feelings for me is far from scary. He's still a big, strong man who has fear of very little - except of losing me. Scary? Hell no! I find the feeling very empowering. He rights all the wrongs in my life - just by being there. He makes me strong and gives me confidence because I know that no matter what happens, he will always love me.
Boston - don't give up. Your girl will come around, or she won't. You'll have to deal with whatever she decides whether you like it or not, as I'm sure you know. Waiting is tough, but try to keep in mind that nothing lasts forever - good or bad. Sooner or later you'll know what the future holds for you both. I hope you'll be happy with the outcome - whatever that is. Don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong for feeling the way you do! That's the beauty and the curse of love - you can't help how you feel, or who you feel it for! Hang in there, good luck!
Love,
Pheebs
I wasn't suggesting couseling because I think there's something wrong with the way you're feeling, simply as one way to help you choose your *actions and responses to those feelings*. Your feelings are very valid, and you need no justification or explanation.
Please understand that your OW is entitled to the very same thing. She may feel scared that you have thrown your life at her feet. Who would want the responsibility of someone else's happiness?!! We all know that nobody can ever be responsible for anyone else's happiness or lack thereof, but feelings are not logical creatures, and her feelings are just as valid as yours.
You should not be ashamed. And for the record, I think you did the exact right thing by just holding her and stroking her hair while she cried it out. You're an amazing guy for just being there and not trying to "fix" everything right now. See? You're already ahead of the emotional power curve. Hang in there, man!
Sorry, just gotta be me.
You're a sweet guy, boston53.
and i'm sending you yellow roses as a friendly gesture to make up for being that bada$$ ball-breakin' chick!!
love ya, boston!
gurl
dying plants and all!!
gotta love ya,
gurl
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