what does it mean when...
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what does it mean when...
| Mon, 12-29-2003 - 11:34am |
...your MM says he's perfectly happy with his marriage, yet still gets involved in an affair?
I ask because in 7 years, I've been involved in 2 affairs with MM, and both have said they are happy and content in their marriages. Personally, I don't get it. Doesn't something have to be lacking for them to stray??? Am I that naive? I, myself, am married, and have been for over 8 years, and I'm so NOT happy in it (but that's a whole other story), so I perfectly understand why I have gotten involved with other relationships.
Is this just a poor reflection on me, or is there something I just don't understand? And candid advice is certainly welcome! Positive or Negative!
Thansk,
Blushing

pretty simple, don't you think?
gurl
sorry but I totally disagree. If a man is happy, *no* woman, no amount of "excitement" no amount of flirting or making him feel warm and fuzzy about himself will make him stray. He would *enjoy* that, he would flirt back, he'd think about the possibilities but actually have an A for the "excitment"? I DON'T BUY IT. Sorry. There is *something* wrong in his marriage if he is having sex with other women, whether it's a big problem, a small problem, a "revenge" thing (wife did something big he didn't approve of) or something he doens't realize, it's THERE. I am not even implying it's a huge problem. I don't believe it for a minute. I think the "she paid attention to me" is a nice excuse for them to win the wife back after they are busted wihtout having to actually "fix" anything (god forbid).
Just MHO
jen
I have also been attracted to many men over the years, but never even considered an A. This MM and I have a mutual attraction to each other and share the same interests. He is easy to talk to, romantic and geniune. He is intellectually stimulating. He is also 13 years older than me and I am sure on some level, I make him feel young again. I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing.
Our realtionship, like I am sure many of the realtionships here, is not sordid. We don't want to hurt anyone, but we feel lost without one another. (even on a part time basis). I am trying hard to be realistic. I don't want marriage from this man or for him to leave his wife and kids. Although it is sad, I feel like we were cheated in a way, that we have the right love, but it's at the wrong time. What I am looking for is someone who is affectionate with me, loves me, and who I can discuss my similiar interests with like music, movies and art. I would love to vacation with this man, although I think that is impossible, but we both have an adventerous side to us, parasailing, snorkeling, swimming with the dolphins, etc., that our spouses don't share. I think that is why we both started our affair.
I can love my husband and stay with him, but I know I am not in love with my husband and I basically stay with him because I just don't want to be alone. And he is a good man.
Just my 2 cents.
It depends on the kind of person you are talking about.
Some people are just dishonest. They do not have a conscience about lying to someone or being dishonorable. So, even in this aspect of their lives they continue with the pattern of deceit and self-serving behavior.
Then, you have your weak people. They give in to temptations and may even feel bad but are not real good at resisting.
Then, there's the confused person. They may have something lacking in their primary relationship so they search it out in another. Maybe to eventually leave their marriage or not, they just don't know how to fix what is wrong.
I do not believe that something has to be lacking in one's marriage. It happens but it is not the rule. Short of abuse, there really is no excuse for cheating. We just tend to make them up instead of dealing with the problems head on.