What Does This Mean? No Sex With AP
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What Does This Mean? No Sex With AP
| Wed, 05-26-2010 - 11:39pm |
In the two years I've been with my AP (he's married and so am I), he's never actually done "it" with me.

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I see what you're trying to get at.
My take : You are in an emotional affair and not a full blown affair.Emotions are here and the desire to have sex is there.Many people have EA's and dont cross the line for any number of reason/s.Its not about you being not attractive or him not being aroused by you.He may very well want to but is not.
IMO, when we reach a certain age,sex takes a back seat while emotional connection takes the frontal.Just like one in a blue moon guy who slept around crazy, was a player all his life, suddenly finds a woman for whom he wants to be good ( usually in movies! )but she is taken ( adding a twist ;) ).
Your AP might very well want to stick with EA but if you want to add sex to the mixture,try initiating and if backs off but you really need it,find another AP.Dont be miserable.
there's no way I can ever live up to hiskimber's expectations, she makes me blush!..
and yes, mogul, i've guessed as much that with a nick like this, you are an attractive woman.. and you saying that is just you being honest..
part of my line with "not that into you" was to make you think a bit harder, bring up some more details.. i had alterior motives, i must confess, call me an agent provocateur.. of thoughts.. and you've come through quite well..
i think you've pretty much laid out the complications/thoughts associated with the two of you taking this to a full-blown EA/PA. His reason for not going all the way is that he feels both of you will lose too much if you go that far, lose what you currently have, which is very precious. He is a good, smart man acting this way, I probably wouldn't be that mature.
So, I take my original line back. He is really into you, but knows where to draw the line so as not to cross it and never be able to come back to where you are now.
As an aside, being totally selfish here, many men, me included, won't mind at all "checking out" with a smile on our faces. That leaves behing quite a mess, literally and figuratively, for the survivors, so he probably has a good point there too.
And finally, the question of, what would it take for a man to sleep with a woman, ie anything more that a drop of a kerchief or a hat.. Mogul's situation clearly shows that there are always exceptions, there are always men out there who would deny themselves sex if it means there is too high a price to be paid.
I am not that good or mature. But, I've had moments where I regretted my actions, and since then, was able to use my larger brain now and again.
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I think this varies by men.
anotherseyes
Honestly, I don't even know that I can speculate why your AP feels this way about IC.
anotherseyes
Hi there iii's
Thanks for your thoughts on this.
Hi there
I've been in an EA for over 4 years now Mogulbunny and this exact scenario has left me clinging to the edge of the cliff more than once in that time.
Nope Mogul, don't misinterpret my direct answers of my opinion to "harsh" intentions. Not at all.
I suppose you would've taken my post differently had I not said I was an exOW and perhaps had a penis like Nevereasy. Male POV is and always will be revered here more than a female's and that is the nature of the beast of this
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