what to expect
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| Sat, 09-27-2003 - 2:47pm |
In the beginning he wanted to set up "ground rules" so to speak. Some of them are that although we know eachothers home phone numbers we never call unless asked to, which is an obvious one of course. Some others are:
That we contact each other at least every two days, whether its by phone or email to just let the other know we are ok. His worst fear is if something happens to me and the fact that he may not find out for at least a few days.
To always be open and honest with eachother and if we disagree to not walk away mad. This has only happened a few times luckily.
To let eachother know what we expect from one another. We started off as close friends, when we admitted to having feelings for one another we both stated that we had no intentions of splitting up our families. However he also believes that you never say never and that we have to have open communication.
This of course is just samples, what do you expect and do you and your OM set "ground rules"
Sweet

We've been together over 4 months, now, and some other guidelines we live by are: no phone calls or emails/IMs after about 445pm weekdays or over the weekend; work has *got* to come first, otherwise one of us will get transferred or fired, and that won't help us.
Good thread, I like seeing how others do it!
PS...a new one of mine is going to be "thou shalt have thine own cell phone"
MM and I never really made any ground rules either... somehow there was just an understanding of one anothers situations and it just keeps getting clearer over time.
Some things we stick by... are no phone calls or text messages over the weekend unless arranged previously.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
That we would try to keep our actions in check and always be very careful; we don't want to get caught!
We primarily email. We only call each other if we plan it in advance.
We don't call each other on our cell phones - too risky.
That we would remember to keep things on an even keel at home - otherwise things could easily get out of hand between us, which in turn could spell disaster for ourselves and the people we care about.
We asked each other if we could be friends when it ended (I still don't know the answer to that).
What we feel (or could feel) has never been discussed. Each of us has hinted at it, but no real discussion on that yet. Probably for the better...this can be scary.
I am worrier and a thinker, so when OM wanted to set ground rules I was relieved, of course like sweet had mentioned most are just known and don't need to mentioned.
Sweettendencie
Edited 4/7/2004 9:44 am ET ET by gurlfriend50
We were talking about a friend of ours that was in an affair with a MW who is hoping she will leave to be with him. And I mentioned that realistically it probably wouldn't work, that EMA usually are about excitement and fulfilling desires and once someone leaves a marriage or R, they most likely would be disappointed with the reality of the relationship. Not meaning that there aren't affairs based on true feelings.
Well, he looks at me and says "yeah but not in our case, right" then this huge debate took place and now he isn't at all happy with me. OOPSY. We have always made it clear as you can see in my original post that we won't leave our S/O's. Now today he is upset that I wouldn't, I don't get it.
Sweettendencies
my MM and i said the same thing and now he's leaning toward a "possible" future. i'm keeping my mouth shut on that subject. i'm too realistic to believe it could work out between us. but of course, sometimes i do think about just running away with him and damn the consequences.
who knows, right? anything can happen. funny, huh!
see ya,
gurl
Like you, I have mixed feelings about that. Sure I have thought that way but I don't want to say it because I hate the thought of giving him false hopes.
And as you said, never say never. Holy Catch 22.
lol
Sweettendencies
anyway, i'm glad to know we're in the same boat -- attitude-wise.
see ya,
gurl
Edited 4/7/2004 9:42 am ET ET by gurlfriend50