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| Thu, 12-18-2008 - 12:20pm |
I understand that my AP is M , has a W , has kids but is it only his job to take care of the kids? Why doesnt she take them around ever? On monday and tuesday we were supposed to meet for coffee in the morning and i get a call to cancel it because the W is going here or there and my AP is taking care of the kids..she hardly takes the kids along with her.Many times it has happened that we are having a good time and she calls for petty kids issues like b and c are fighting over this, b has coughed twice since morning.My AP attends to it ,never misses the issues regarding his kids but ,what is his W doing? Cant she handle petty kids fights even?
I am all worked up right now and very angry.we coundnt do it for the rest of the week as i am not here and wont see him flesh and blood till next week.
My AP is not making excuses,i am 100% sure about that as one of my friends is his neighbour but doesnt know about 'our' R.Back to my ramble.. his W is always going for pedicure, manbicure ,facial ....would be such an opportunity for us to meet BUT she makes him baby sit.I am furious.I dont want him to ignore or let go of his kids but shouldnt his W also take some responsibility for her kids?
Whew!! i am feeling terrible right now.
Edited 12/18/2008 12:22 pm ET by lovingdoll2008

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Have you ever attempted to take two squabbling chidlren to a nail, hair, or facial appointment? Obviously not. If she were to do that, the other women in the salon or spa who were trying to relax would whisper about her and how she
uhmmm he takes them around because they are his kids too....he is NOT babysitting if he is the father, he'd doing what he is obligated and responsible to do....i think it's good he takes his kids around...that shows you what type of man he is...would you really want him to shirk his responsibility to his children for you...? and if he did, then what would you think of him as a man and father?
also if the kids are fighting, she should include him in the discussion and discipline....you got a great guy/AP...that's the kind you want.
i understand you are frustrated because you think it cuts into your time but actually you are cutting into their time with their father...think of it this way: you are "special" to him because any moment he gives to you is a moment he could be spending with his family....
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
thx for putting it in a better way than some.I am very frustrated about not being able to keep the meetings.i hate being like this!! I am in it by choice and knew where we were going with it but she doesnt do a thing in the house.She is a SAHM , enjoys coffee at cafe every morning,loves going movies with her girl friends, goes on girls night out ,she really has a very lavish lifestyle .My AP complains a lot and has not been able to control her shopping expenses-- her favourite hobby, he says. He drops kids to school, fetches them , takes them to kids bday parties , she is not taking any responsibility .for every little issue,his phone begins to ring ,i can see his puppy face. My friend says that she does all this so that if my AP is so busy in home life,he wont have time to stray ! only if she knew! he strayed anywho.
I am not snatching him from his kids or W, its just a tough place to be in.
I am special , he has made me feel since we confessed our feelings but i want more....
OT, tygerzize ( tiger's eyes ?) who's eyes are like a tiger-- your's or AP's ;-) ? or when you are at it, you both become like tigers and have it wild ;-)
thx addicted2mya.
Do we have the same AP? He does everything ! like i wrote in the other reply, he is the woman and man of the house.The W does nothing except take his paycheck and go out on a shopping spree every single day.He is taking responsibility and she is not sharing it.I hate to see my AP doing everything and not being able to confront her.the W is very careless as well.i hear stories about her from my friend who is thier neighbour.once she nearly drowned a kid and blamed others for it.once her kid went out with friends and she forgot to pick him up and the poor kid called AP as her cell was turned off ! why? she went on her girls nightout and forgot about picking up the kid!
AP is heading for D but i am sure it will not be drama free.I hope i dont run away before it gets final as the W will be too much of a drama later as well.This was her 2nd M and 1st for my AP.I can see now why she was D earier on.one of the kids is from previous M and one with AP.
i want him and want him all to myself.I want more and MORE.Period.
well...i just think that he thinks you are special if he has so much to do with the kids and deals with a difficult wife and then can find time for you....you know what i mean....
my "whateva you wanna call him" is the same way..although i don't believe she's difficult with him..i just think he likes to provide...fortunately he has a teenager so you know it's easy to pay them off...just joking..but there are times when she pouts for time with him..it doesn't bother me cuz "who am i?, when it comes to his kid" get me....i feel special..if someone thinks of me on holidays..like mothers day and father's day and thanksgiving..i must be pretty special...if someone still wants to be my friend after i act up and break up with them..i must be pretty special..if someone calls me and texts me everyday to keep communication live and open and to hear my voice..i must be pretty special...a man who's committed to his family is a good man...(i know some will say how committed can he be, if he's with you too...well, sometimes people are committed to their entire family structure..but not the wife...get me) i love that about my "whateva you wanna call him" ..you know why..because he's good to my son as well..he treats him like his own..and he treats me like a little princess...i love it...
my eyes are hazel green..that's where tygerzize (tiger's eyes) comes from.....
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
sorry...I don't consider men taking care of their own kids "babysitting". They are his kids too.
It is too bad that you consider a man who happens to be married and a father doing what his part, getting inthe way of your sex life lol. Feeling a bit jealous maybe? This won't change, some people have just eeked out a life for themselves and he has done the same. It probably won't change so maybe you will have to
Xow,
Lizzie
Edited 12/20/2008 8:44 am ET by lizzie1965
I am sure YOU ARE ALSO ONE OF THOSE WOMEN WHO THROW ALL RESPONSIBILITY ON THE FATHER AND THEMSELVES DO NOTHING AND HAVE SEX WITH OTHER MEN. >>>
wrong...I am a single woman (never married)
As women I believe we can be very terrible to each other, from reading the posts I'm going to venture with the thought that we women put alot of emphasize on what the other women looks like, that physical beauty holds more stock than what we are like inside. When I read posts stating that an AP's spouse isn't all that great looking/doesn't do anything at home or keeps a tight leash on them and that makes it ok for AP to cheat it hurts me. Shouldn't we as women understand each other instead of being quick to bash each other? I believe a support board should be to steer away from putting the AP's spouse down and to focus on the why's and hows we have found ourselves in an affair with a married person. For me personally I believe affairs are very wrong, that is my opinion and it is not to judge anyone who is in one. I had an affair myself and the damage I did to myself is unbelievable, I'm still trying to recover from my quilt and how I could do this. I think I have learnt to hold myself responsible for my actions and that no one is to blame but me and how I conducted myself. I would never bash another women because we are all the other women and I see no good in pointing out another women's fault because I have enough of my own. So maybe remember that when complaining about not being able to see your AP because he is busy with his real life that in reality that whole statement is so wrong. An affair is just that, stolen moments away from reality.
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