What is going on with him - how dare he

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
What is going on with him - how dare he
11
Sat, 10-25-2008 - 8:20pm

Ok..well I have been off and on this board for the past two years. I have been seeing my ap for 2.5 years. Neither of us want to leave our spouses. It is what it is. We meet about everyother week. Well, it has always been difficult to get in touch with him. He sucks at calling people back. Well, he says to call his office. I have in the past and it feels weird so I would rather call his cell phone. Well, yesterday I texted him about 6 times asking him to tell me the time for Tuesday night. I have to make sure I have a story and my son is taken care of. Well, he texts back about 6 hours later in CAPS saying that First and Most important, I hate texting and my wife wants to know who has been texting me. I was so hot and angry!! I texted him right back and told him I understood and thought he was at work. Then told him it would never happen again. Then about 3 minutes later, I decided to call his phone. It went to the message and I told him that I was sorry and that it would not happen again. I also told him that he may or may not know that I have to set up babysitter, hubby or whatever to make sure my son is cared for while I am out with him. All I needed from him was a yes or no about Tuesday night. I then told him I would call him on Monday. Needless to say I sounded very direct on his voice mail.

How selfish can he be?? Boy I am ticked! My plan is to talk to him Monday, see his Tuesday for our meeting night and then cool it with talking with him. He has always told me to contact him b/c my schedule is very strange. That is fine - but he does not always call me back in time..etc...blah blah blah.

Anyways..thanks for letting me vent....

any ideas?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2008
Sat, 10-25-2008 - 10:28pm
Oh brother...I don't know if you want to hear it, but it seems to me this guy is too much work and don't want to see you as much as you want to see him.
Sorry.
My AP is the one with a crazy schedule and sometimes comes up with the last minute plans which I truly hate because there is too much accommodation to do...so I turn him down every once in awhile to keep him on edge.
If I were you, I would not contact him at all at the moment..let him cool off, skip your Tuesday meeting like you could not care less, and then let him come to you.
(((Hugs)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sat, 10-25-2008 - 10:35pm

To weird I thought I was the only one with these problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Sat, 10-25-2008 - 10:36pm

I saw a younger man for about 5 months. He knew I was married, and I had children. I never hid that from him. Things started to get really bad for me as a married person, when he started to want reasons. I was married and I only had to answer to one man, and he wasn't the man. You are pushing him and it will scare him. It will scare him because he knows what he stands to miss out on. He doesn't want his wife to know about you because he cares about that relationship. I am not saying that he doesn't care about you. However in the end we all know what and who we are. We are married. Nothing will undo that, until we take those steps to undo the marriage.


Being married yourself, what would you do if he was texting you that many times? How would you feel if your husband was right there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 2:41am
I agree w/ vivacious, I wouldn't call and I would blow him off for your meeting. I mean you said you were sorry, twice. What else can you do? Give him room to breath, and he will come back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 9:43am

This sounds so much like my situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 12:35pm

Wow we need to keep in touch.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 3:20pm
OMG...about the hotel.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 7:42pm

How many years have you been married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 8:09pm

Also what really frustrates me about him is I'll email him alot asking questions and stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 8:21pm

I'm sorry for venting so much but I keep thinking of things that bug me LOL


I'll txt him saying I miss u.

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