What I have found out....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
What I have found out....
1
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 9:58pm
Really no need to respond but if you are into reading this may be entertaining to say the least...

I had found out That my MM had left his W - for a few days he was in a single state of mind, I did not see him during this time - nor have I since he returned from his vacation

because he has been acting S T R A N G E - so not the same man I have known for 2 years and it made me stop and think..."I know him - yet I don't know him" - as much as I talk to him there are so many things we barely touch upon (his M being one of them)

So - when I found out he had left his W I sort of freaked out and got scared thinking

that there was just no way I could deal with all the emotion he was going thru - he wasn't so much upset over leaving his W as he was about leaving behind his Family and all his posessions - he has said to me that he doesn't really care about material things, but when he was in the hotel and he didn't some of his creature comforts of home it began to sink in - and he missed the sounds and smells of home

I really tired to be understanding and listen but I felt so out of place - I am the one

he comes to with all of his problems, news, everything - yet I felt like I shouldn't be

talking to him

ok...to the point I later found out his W decided they needed couseling and so he showed up for the couseling at her request (he was still living out of the house)

His W "knows" he is having an A - but he won't admit to it -

This also keeps me from talking to him - emailing him - texting him - calling him - meeting him -

He tells me it's safe but I just can't get past the fact that it's NOT

I am in a limbo of what to do - I am sort of cooling off emotionally - meaning I was really angry, bitter, felt used, felt out of control, anxious, overwhelmed - everything was just making me crazy

2 weeks and I have felt every emotion known to woman its like my worst PMS nightmare come true !!!!

I am now just going with what I feel is right -

I feel I need to just back up from MM and let him work on his M - he keeps telling me that the problems he has had in his M were there far before I came alone - but still how can I NOT feel somewhat repsonsible for his Blazee' attitude about it all

He is really being sweet to me - even as mean as I have been - we barely talk for 15 minutes a day and when he sends me an email I instantly delete it without even reading it for fear his computer is being bugged by one of those spyware things -

I am in sort of a paranoid state right now expecting to get that phone call at any moment

I NEVER expected him to leave his W - not that he's doing it for me - but it just was a shock because he doesn't tell me much about their life (I prefer it to be that way)

He has since moved back and says it's quiet on that end but he's due for more couseling this week -

I am just going day by day - reading your posts help

Kikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 8:22pm
Yuk, Kikki, that's a scary situation. I'm assuming you're avoiding contact because you're married also and you're worried that his W will contact your H?

I think that's a real worry...I've seen people here write that that has happened to them...

I would keep being careful if I were you.

Hugs!

barefoot