What if your husband cheated on you?
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| Mon, 02-02-2004 - 11:43am |
Does one of the above scenarios or all of it make him more appealing to you? You have to agree to the fact that one big attraction about the OM (in our lives) is his sexual prowess ….the fact he is able to handle a number of women sexually? So now the hubby is the same as OM. Hubby has changed and is not the nice guy anymore and is finding another woman attractive and loveable over you. Does that make him more attractive to you?
Or do you breathe a sigh of relief and make his affair (lets say if he doesn't know about yours) an excuse to dump him and make a permanent connection with your OM?
Or do you say hey lets both have fun (which I believe is a very sick approach IMHO :-P)?
What do you really, honestly DO or THINK in both cases when DH does or doesn't know about your A and is SERIOUSLY interested in the other woman and is having an A with her?
Philly Girl

CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
Mama
I'm not sure if your question applies to me, since he is now stbxH (soon to be xH), but I'll spill anyway.
Yup, H did have a non-emotional A years ago and we talked about it, I stayed, though we didn't really address changes in M or ourselves. His last A was emotional, he doesn't love me, and asked for D. It certainly did not make him more loveable to me, lol! At the time I lost alot of self-esteem and couldn't understand. But, it's been good for me. It wasn't a good relationship, and I've since gained some self-esteem and strength back.
And here I am, in an A with a MM (after stbxH asked for a D). The big attraction is not and hasn't ever been his sexual prowess, again lol!...it's the total package.
The demise of our M was not strictly due to stbxH's A's - there are so many other reasons. I don't believe an A is the cause of a breakdown in the M, rather there was a breakdown which resulted in an A. That breakdown could be anything - from mis-communication to non-communication to no sex to no love to wanting to experience other partners, and etc. Whether or not one believes in monogomy, they should practice open, honest communication and realise that a M (well, any R) needs to be maintained *before* a problem arrises and while it and the people are going through changes/phases. Eh, not that I can talk...but I am still learning.
Meow
<<<<>>>>
That is true wisdom speaking from someone who has experienced the things that you have. It is good that you are learning. It is good when people can admit to things as you have and aspire to learn. You spoke of honest communication and it appears as though you are being honest with yourself too. That is a true gift. Not everyone is capable of that (or is willing to be capable of that).
Pen
Anyways, we had already grown very much apart. We got married way too young (20). And by that time (we were 30) we had very different ideas about what we wanted in life anyways.
So one night, I went to the bar he hangs out at after work. And found him in his vehicle with a girl between his legs. I even had the kids with me!! I walked up to his van, that girl popped her head up, then opened the door and ran!! I couldn't give a crap about her, I only had words to say to him.
Anyways, we tried to reconcile but it didn't work. Because as soon as I saw him with her, I realized that I did not love him anymore. And after I kicked him out of the house, he shacked up with another girl, not even the same one!! They just need someone to take care of them, doesn't matter who. As long as she cooks and will spread her legs at night.
Sorry, I'm being a b**ch again!!