I started because I needed to feel that "connection" again. I woke up one day and remembered, I am still a woman, not just a mom, or just a wife, who isnt appreciated, I am a woman, and want to feel like a woman again. I am in a miserable marriage, and decided I needed more, for me. I met my AP, and it was truely "all over".
I could tell you why I started in a single word. Neglect. My once loving H completely lost interest in me physically and emotionally. He checked out of our M about 3 or 4 years before I began my A (with a MM) a year ago. I got sick of being the only one attempting to keep our M together. I was feeling unloved, unwanted and unattractive, then I found AP who reminded me that I am none of those things. AP was looking for connection, closeness and intimacy. From the first time we met, we had a very strong connection and still do. He's just separated too but at this point in time, we're not changing anything.
Neither of us were looking to start an A - just kind of fell into it. Initial intention was for just a FWB/PA sort of thing - started spending alot of time on the phone talking and quickly turned into an EA. We have been involved 7 months and both are M's are a mess - we each want out but each have our own timetables based on similar reasons that we have shared with each other - also both want out of M's prior to meeting each other.
I was very miserable in my M before I started my R w/ AP. AP had only been w/ his W for 5 yrs., and already he was in a sexless M, so he had been looking to better deal her for awhile when I came along.
I was promoted to Sergeant, and AP was the best, so they put me w/ him to train. I always knew that he was really witty, and I had always admired him as an officer, but crossing that line had never occurred to me before.
So, after a while of working together for 8 hrs. a day, we fell in love. We were inseparable, and we didn't care if anybody knew about it. We both left our spouses for each other, but do to temporary insanity on my part, he went back to his W. A week later I found out I was prego by him. When I told him that I was prego, he went on to inform me that he had had a vasectomy five years earlier. So, now he was like "OMG, you cheated on me??" Of course I hadn't, but I had to wait for the baby to be born, then the DNA test until I got redemption. Crazy huh?
I should write a book about this madness, because that's what it is.
I have so many reasons...... none of them "good" but if I boiled it down it stems from contentment - I feel like I am/was missing something - not really about sex... maybe its that feeling of excitement, its also about the "clock" - mortality for me - I mean sometimes I think if this is all the life we have and the clock is ticking then I want more - at times I feel like I have lived 3 lives....... I am sure I will reconcile all this later - and perhaps spend some time in purgatory where there is a better party for sure ....
but to answer your questions..... I am in an A... by pure chance - I had planned on retiring and hanging up my "cleats".... and then I met someone whom is M... it started as physical...... she had a H, a lover and a BF... and I thought she is perfect - I could dabble - not really commit - and then I woke up and I believe I found a soulmate... of sorts in this twisted turn of fate and fell infatuatingly in LOVE with her...and I think she is in love with me - she is the missing piece to my puzzle... I am happy at home ( - it is work at times) I have known her since August and started to fall in Nov/Dec
We have been off and on for 17 years, most of that was off until 1 1/2 years ago. AP gives me everything H doesn't. He listens, he respects me,he cares about me. H has emotionally and mentally abused me for years. He took away my self esteem, I believe he has no respect for me. AP and H are friends. AP has seen and heard the way H treats me. I think I got into this just to feel something better than I was getting at home. Somewhere along the line, we fell in love. We are planning to be together. There is a lot to be worked out.
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I could tell you why I started in a single word. Neglect. My once loving H completely lost interest in me physically and emotionally. He checked out of our M about 3 or 4 years before I began my A (with a MM) a year ago. I got sick of being the only one attempting to keep our M together. I was feeling unloved, unwanted and unattractive, then I found AP who reminded me that I am none of those things. AP was looking for connection, closeness and intimacy. From the first time we met, we had a very strong connection and still do. He's just separated too but at this point in time, we're not changing anything.
Pisces
Neither of us were looking to start an A - just kind of fell into it. Initial intention was for just a FWB/PA sort of thing - started spending alot of time on the phone talking and quickly turned into an EA. We have been involved 7 months and both are M's are a mess - we each want out but each have our own timetables based on similar reasons that we have shared with each other - also both want out of M's prior to meeting each other.
I was very miserable in my M before I started my R w/ AP. AP had only been w/ his W for 5 yrs., and already he was in a sexless M, so he had been looking to better deal her for awhile when I came along.
I was promoted to Sergeant, and AP was the best, so they put me w/ him to train. I always knew that he was really witty, and I had always admired him as an officer, but crossing that line had never occurred to me before.
So, after a while of working together for 8 hrs. a day, we fell in love. We were inseparable, and we didn't care if anybody knew about it. We both left our spouses for each other, but do to temporary insanity on my part, he went back to his W. A week later I found out I was prego by him. When I told him that I was prego, he went on to inform me that he had had a vasectomy five years earlier. So, now he was like "OMG, you cheated on me??" Of course I hadn't, but I had to wait for the baby to be born, then the DNA test until I got redemption. Crazy huh?
I should write a book about this madness, because that's what it is.
Justice
I have so many reasons...... none of them "good" but if I boiled it down it stems from contentment - I feel like I am/was missing something - not really about sex... maybe its that feeling of excitement, its also about the "clock" - mortality for me - I mean sometimes I think if this is all the life we have and the clock is ticking then I want more - at times I feel like I have lived 3 lives....... I am sure I will reconcile all this later - and perhaps spend some time in purgatory where there is a better party for sure ....
but to answer your questions..... I am in an A... by pure chance - I had planned on retiring and hanging up my "cleats".... and then I met someone whom is M... it started as physical...... she had a H, a lover and a BF... and I thought she is perfect - I could dabble - not really commit - and then I woke up and I believe I found a soulmate... of sorts in this twisted turn of fate and fell infatuatingly in LOVE with her...and I think she is in love with me - she is the missing piece to my puzzle... I am happy at home ( - it is work at times) I have known her since August and started to fall in Nov/Dec
Edited 1/24/2009 9:05 am ET by mrcocky
You give well thought out advice.
Thank you for the honesty.
So it seems as if everyone was missing something in their M, which makes a lot of sense, I think.
Edited 2/21/2009 4:57 am ET by goblinqueen79
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