Well, we stayed apart for 6 yrs. He would come get his son, and we were pleasant to each other. Many times he tried to rekindle our R, but I resisted. I didn't date or have sex w/ anyone during those 6 yrs. I loved him so much I just could bring myself to be w/ someone else. He was all I ever wanted.
So 6 yrs. go by, and one day he came to get his son, and I caved, and just totally molested him. GOD IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!
We have been together over a year now. The bad part is he was supposed to leave the W in December, but began in Nov. asking for an exstention until March. I said no I've waited long enough. But have since then caved, and am to a degree w/ him again. Although this time he thinks I'm dating others, so he APPEARS to be more motivated than before. We shall see what happens in March.
Just one other thing that I would like to add about the baby. My AP is black, so I thought when I went to have the baby that at least he would know the baby looked half black. No guarantee that it was his, but a step in the right direction. OMG, When the baby was born he look Filipino. AP came and saw him, and LAUGHED! I was like DAMN!!!!! But thank God for DNA, because my son does not look black at all. He looks Hispanic. DNA Don't lie baby!! LOL
I am the last person that would ever expect to be in an A, but here I am... M, but missing something, and after talking to H about it and telling him what I needed those things still didn't change. But he's a good man, he loves me, is honest and faithful to me, and our problems are not the type of problems that end marriages, just the type of things that leave you unsatisfied, unhappy at times. So I'm in an EA with somebody that seems just right for me... but we're both M and I don't know if that would ever change. To answer your questions:
-why you stay in your M if you are not happy? I think it's a combination of many reasons. It's so hard to think of leaving your spouse, especially if they are a good person. You already have a life established with them, a family, financial ties, etc, etc. You already know what it's like to be married to them, and leaving them for somebody else presents a bit of an unknown. But for me, the main reason I stay is because of how much it would break his heart if I just left him one day. He would be blindsided. He thinks things are well when I am really not entirely happy. Plus, it's not like if I left him to be with AP that AP would leave his W for me (I don't know his thoughts because we haven't gotten to the point yet where it is appropriate to discuss that.) So in a way you settle, for being mostly happy.
-If you are happy in your M, why do you stay involved in the A? Now that I know my AP, and realize the feelings and the connection that I have with him, I cannot imagine my life without him in it. I did try to break things off when I realized we were headed toward a serious EA, but he told me "I am not letting you go. I don't want to lose you. " And all this other stuff that tugged at my heart and made me realize how special my AP is.
-is it possible for you to love 2 people at once? Yes. There are different types of love, but you can definitely love more than one person at the same time.
-Or is it really possible to be with someone for years and not really love them, but just like physical affection sometimes? I imagine that is also true.
-why you stay in your M if you are not happy? I didn't.
As a S woman involved with a MM I just always wonder,
-is it possible for you to love 2 people at once? Not me, no. Not romantic love.
-Or is it really possible to be with someone for years and not really love them, but just like physical affection sometimes? It would seem so for AP, not for me. I stupidly fell in love with someone I shouldn't have.
Been unhappy for better part of 10 years - stayed in beginning because kids were small and H would always threaten to take them and disappear - not willing to take that chance. Kids are older and not really factor now - more financial and also subconsciously fear of unknown should I finally leave although that is slowly starting to change since kids are now older and will be able to be out on their own in a few years and I'm starting to live life more for me than for them.
-is it possible for you to love 2 people at once?
I don't think you can be "in love" with 2 people at once - I think, at least for me, you can only
I gave it some more thought and peeled away a few layers and well I would say contentment - I never really felt content - I was happy - but not content - something was missing - lacking. Sex was part of the lacking - but only part.
I was faithful for a lot of years until last year when I had my first A. The chemistry was so incredible between us that I know I don't want to live without that feeling again. I guess you would call me an AP addict now just like my name implies. lol Just like Star...my H has been emotionally and verbally abusive. Bit-by-bit he torn me down and made me what he wanted me to be.
My soon to be AP, we've been in an EA for 4-5 months and he's been there for me for emotional support and become a true friend. We've decided to continue our friendship and see how we feel but I feel sure it will soon become physical. He's held back from it becoming physical because he wants what's best for ME and that makes me care all that more for him.
I'm in an A because he gives me the emotional support and also the attention my H doesn't. He's been my supportive friend who has been there for me while I poured out my heart to him with the breakup of my two APs.
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Well, we stayed apart for 6 yrs. He would come get his son, and we were pleasant to each other. Many times he tried to rekindle our R, but I resisted. I didn't date or have sex w/ anyone during those 6 yrs. I loved him so much I just could bring myself to be w/ someone else. He was all I ever wanted.
So 6 yrs. go by, and one day he came to get his son, and I caved, and just totally molested him. GOD IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!
We have been together over a year now. The bad part is he was supposed to leave the W in December, but began in Nov. asking for an exstention until March. I said no I've waited long enough. But have since then caved, and am to a degree w/ him again. Although this time he thinks I'm dating others, so he APPEARS to be more motivated than before. We shall see what happens in March.
Just one other thing that I would like to add about the baby. My AP is black, so I thought when I went to have the baby that at least he would know the baby looked half black. No guarantee that it was his, but a step in the right direction. OMG, When the baby was born he look Filipino. AP came and saw him, and LAUGHED! I was like DAMN!!!!! But thank God for DNA, because my son does not look black at all. He looks Hispanic. DNA Don't lie baby!! LOL
Justice
I am the last person that would ever expect to be in an A, but here I am... M, but missing something, and after talking to H about it and telling him what I needed those things still didn't change. But he's a good man, he loves me, is honest and faithful to me, and our problems are not the type of problems that end marriages, just the type of things that leave you unsatisfied, unhappy at times. So I'm in an EA with somebody that seems just right for me... but we're both M and I don't know if that would ever change. To answer your questions:
-why you stay in your M if you are not happy? I think it's a combination of many reasons. It's so hard to think of leaving your spouse, especially if they are a good person. You already have a life established with them, a family, financial ties, etc, etc. You already know what it's like to be married to them, and leaving them for somebody else presents a bit of an unknown. But for me, the main reason I stay is because of how much it would break his heart if I just left him one day. He would be blindsided. He thinks things are well when I am really not entirely happy. Plus, it's not like if I left him to be with AP that AP would leave his W for me (I don't know his thoughts because we haven't gotten to the point yet where it is appropriate to discuss that.) So in a way you settle, for being mostly happy.
-If you are happy in your M, why do you stay involved in the A? Now that I know my AP, and realize the feelings and the connection that I have with him, I cannot imagine my life without him in it. I did try to break things off when I realized we were headed toward a serious EA, but he told me "I am not letting you go. I don't want to lose you. " And all this other stuff that tugged at my heart and made me realize how special my AP is.
-is it possible for you to love 2 people at once? Yes. There are different types of love, but you can definitely love more than one person at the same time.
-Or is it really possible to be with someone for years and not really love them, but just like physical affection sometimes? I imagine that is also true.
Hi curious,
-why you stay in your M if you are not happy?
I didn't.
As a S woman involved with a MM I just always wonder,
-is it possible for you to love 2 people at once?
Not me, no. Not romantic love.
-Or is it really possible to be with someone for years and not really love them, but just like physical affection sometimes?
It would seem so for AP, not for me. I stupidly fell in love with someone I shouldn't have.
-why you stay in your M if you are not happy?
Been unhappy for better part of 10 years - stayed in beginning because kids were small and H would always threaten to take them and disappear - not willing to take that chance. Kids are older and not really factor now - more financial and also subconsciously fear of unknown should I finally leave although that is slowly starting to change since kids are now older and will be able to be out on their own in a few years and I'm starting to live life more for me than for them.
-is it possible for you to love 2 people at once?
I don't think you can be "in love" with 2 people at once - I think, at least for me, you can only
When I first met AP I was not interested at all, I was a single woman just recently broken up.
I was faithful for a lot of years until last year when I had my first A. The chemistry was so incredible between us that I know I don't want to live without that feeling again. I guess you would call me an AP addict now just like my name implies. lol Just like Star...my H has been emotionally and verbally abusive. Bit-by-bit he torn me down and made me what he wanted me to be.
My soon to be AP, we've been in an EA for 4-5 months and he's been there for me for emotional support and become a true friend. We've decided to continue our friendship and see how we feel but I feel sure it will soon become physical. He's held back from it becoming physical because he wants what's best for ME and that makes me care all that more for him.
I'm in an A because he gives me the emotional support and also the attention my H doesn't. He's been my supportive friend who has been there for me while I poured out my heart to him with the breakup of my two APs.
Pages