What next,Time is running

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2013
What next,Time is running
Tue, 11-12-2013 - 12:56am

You need the story ,so here is a quick overview..

Develpoed a crush on a woman who I thought had a crush on me,so we had a chance to go out to dinner since my wife was gone, at dinner I told her my feelings and just said If I was not married I truly would want to be the man she is looking for,[BEFORE] I said anything I took her hand and said I need you to promise what ever I say will not change our friendship and she agreed so I started talking.I was traveling the next day and would not see her again for three months so the first time I talked with her on the internet quick reply but then things slowed down for the rest of the summer and she would see my mesages but would not reply.When I talk with her on the net know she gives short answers or just does not reply.I even sent her a very nice aplogy in case she felt disrespect and did not hear back,but she saw it..

 Two main questions

Why at the time would she say our friendship would be ok and now things are freaky ?

I will be leaving the country I live in now forever in June 2014 and will never see her again and I would like to see her again before I go since I do still  think of her,so what should I do ? 

Thanks for any help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 11-12-2013 - 1:28am

You THOUGHT she had a "crush" on you, but very possibly you were wrong.  Assuming you had a "friendship" before this dinner, she accepted the invitation to dinner, but didn't expect to hear what you had to say.......and no matter that she said it wouldn't affect the friendship, it did.  She probably doesn't want to be involved with a married man, particularly one who has professed an interest that's not reciprocated.........so she's pretty much ignoring you.  She doesn't want a "friendship" that would be very awkward for her.....so you might as well understand that she's not interested, and forget about her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2013
Tue, 11-12-2013 - 4:03am

Thanks for the reply.

There is more to the story,so leading up to the dinner we had been together at social gathers,  it always came down to us talking and one time she asked where I was going when I got up.the reason I thought she was intrested was because she had a lot of pictures of me posted on her social media site,more then usual,I look at some some other pictures she has psoted and from one event and most of them are of me and her and the other ones I am in the background.  .I got home one night and there was a a number sign on my chat from her,so I asked her if that meant she wanted me to call her and she said yes and we talked for a hour late at night.The next morning after dinner she wrotre and said have a good day at work.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2013
Tue, 11-12-2013 - 4:38am

I tried to edit this in,but could not.

Another time we went to a social  gathering and the pictures she posted where mostly of me and her or had me in the background,so with all the stuff above and this that why  I saw her intrest. 

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 11-13-2013 - 3:02am

  Look you are leaving.  There is no point for her to make any investment in what? A lover,a BF,what exactly was she to be to you?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2013
Wed, 11-13-2013 - 3:52am

Thanks for your reponse.

The thing now would be  friendship,because I do enjoy her personality and we had some good times together.It would just be nice to enjoy her a few more times before I never have the chance again.

I knew back in the Spring it was risky opening up,but its was a chance I took and still stand with.Since she is such a straight forward person I thought she could handle it..