what NOT to do
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what NOT to do
| Mon, 04-26-2004 - 9:56pm |
Well..I have finally stopped lurking and made myself see where I am in black and white on my computer screen. As happily married as I am, here I am on this board. Lesson#1 Never say "Never!" (This is very hard for me to get out.) I know I shouldn't be here typing and waiting for OM to call. My DH is totally dedicated to me, a great cook/barista and "all that with whipped cream, chocolate syrup and sprinkles in the bedroom" He washes and vacs my car on the weekends. We've know each other almost 20 years and been together 12. AND I'm happy.
There's my roots.
There's my roots.
OM is dedicated to his kids and his job( and to me when we get together) He makes me feel like I have wings. No problems, No obligations No " whose turn was it to take the dumpster to the curb" We just are.
More later ...Just had to start getting it out

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And look where I am!
Take care
Red
how long have you been involved with your mm?
glad to meet another new person! :o)
I have known my H for 21 yrs and have been married for 13. I have known the OM for 17yrs. The OM and I have been friends practically since we met. Our friendship "crossed the line" in college but we never made a commitment. We stayed friends and I guess I have come to realize that I have never stopped loving him. WOW just writing that is making my hands tremble. He is also married and has a family, like me. As a matter of fact our families have gotten together for dinner before. My husband has always thought of him as a threat and deep down inside hates that I am friends with the OM.(go figure) For years we saw each other every couple of years, but we talked every other week.
Well while I was out of town on business so was the OM and we met for dinner. I hadn't SEEN him for 3 year. He walked into the restaurant and I swear my palms started sweating and my heart started racing. I truly thought that we would meet, have a great time finally talking face to face and that would be it. WRONG I went back with him to his hotel room and (call me stupid) he gave me a hug and i turned into jello. I still can't believe I was so weak. There is that moment right before you kiss that you think I am about to have an affair, I can stop this but I didn't want to. He made me feel so sexy and powerful. I have come to realize those are feelings that I don't get at home. We didn't make love but we had the most incredible foreplay. I was the one who stopped before it went any further. But now that I am back home I find myself thinking about "going all the way" (sound like a teenager).
We talk every week but we have been avoiding the subject. But we are always trying to find a way to travel to the same city. I am a basketcase. So Is it an affair if you don't have sex? Am I stupid? I find myself checking my cell just in case i missed his call. If I have a crappy day all he has to do is say hello and I forget whatever it was that was making sad. Please tell me this is normal?
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