What prompted your A...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
What prompted your A...
19
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 7:20pm


What prompted your A...

I think a lot of women especially over 30 think men are looking for someone younger , prettier, thiner basically it all about looks but I don't agree.

I haven't had an A but when I'm tempted its not for that reason. I think for me it would about wanting to feel wanted and desired.

A lot of women on seeing the AP are aghast because they often are not younger or prettier so they cant understand the motivation. I think in a lot of cases its that the AF is making the
spouse feel desired, attractive and wanted sexually.

Do you think that is accurate?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 11:00pm



Absolutely....AP and I have have known each other for many years. It was PA at one time and due to career moves we are now LD. His W and I are worlds apart not just in appearances but in who we are. He greatly appreciates the attention and love he gets from me that he does not get at home. Why he stays is beyond me.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2008
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 12:31am

Diagonally, why do you ask if you're not in an A?

There are as many reasons for someone to have an A as there are A's.

Pisces

pisces
pisces
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 11:18am

Its about INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCES.

cant be generalized.Its not what women think, its about how men and women need/want from each other. Many men even if they are 50 want a woman who is 25 while their are men who are 40 but prefer 35. You may just like attention he is giving but another woman who is your age finds a man who says he likes her but wants hot/erotic/role play sex.He works up from giving attention to building it up to what he wants.

Hidden motivation comes out slowly.Some men after a particular age realize that to them emotional satisfaction/inner peace / spiritual compatibility is more important than a week of unlimited sex on a nude beach.Some men even at 70 think and do nothing but have sex with fresh ,young girls.

IMO, its far from accurate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 12:19pm
I was single and wanted someone with no strings attached, he was involved and also wanted no strings attached.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 12:55pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2008
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 1:40pm

That is correct, that people enter into an A for many different reasons.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 2:49pm

I entered into my first A (and only PA) because I was no longer in love with my H, I had lost respect and desire for him.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 4:19pm
LUST, plain and simple Lust Desire Want and Need...FOR HIM!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 7:02pm

Honestly I am not sure! I NEVER thought I'd stray, but there was something about a coworker of mine. He's married with a little one at home and 6 or so years older than me. Once we started flirting, I started thinking "Hmm.....could I really convince this guy to cheat on his wife?". Sure enough, once I brought it up, he was game.


I think it's all about that "newness". I feel like the spark is totally gone out of my marraige. I love my husband and would never leave, but I just don't feel any sparks anymore :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2008
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 9:40pm

I agree with you blonde_goddes. I feel am happy in my M. Why am I having an affair with a D man? because it is exciting, because after being M for 18 years the sparks are not there and AP makes me feel desired, sexy, attractive.
I feel guilty sometimes because some women here say they are unhappy in their marriages and find their escape with their AP, on the other hand what is my excuse?

I have no excuse, I like the excitement of the A.

Pages